Rokken
by Failte200
Summary: Kigo and RonxDrakken. GayMMyaoi.  Drakken and Ron?  How it could happen, and what it might mean as far as Taking Over the World.  Note: 16 yo boy and 40? yo man.  Just a warning.
1. Chapter 1: Dinner and a Disaster

_Stupid boy!_ Dr. Drakken thought._ What was he thinking, coming here alone? If I hadn't stopped her, Shego would have put in the hospital! And perhaps I should have let her... because NOW what am I supposed to do with him?_

He looked over the top of his terminal screen to the far wall of the laboratory, where Ron Stoppable was manacled to the wall. Ron was studying the lair, apparently, looking around at the ceiling, the upper-landing, the doors, the machines...

Drakken's eyes lingered.

Then Ron looked back toward where Drakken sat, and the Dr. quickly looked away, afraid he'd been caught.

_Oh, real good, Drew..._ he always thought of himself as Drew, despite what he told people to call him,_ what, are we in High School too, now? Gawking at the pretty..._

He didn't finish it in his head, either, but looked back at the blueprints on his terminal, trying to get his mind back on his latest plan for World Conquest.It involved giant mechanical spiders. He sighed. He couldn't think straight with that boy hanging there.

_Half my age! Well, nearly. It's not right. I KNOW it's not right... I KNOW why it's not right. There are good reasons. The Law is right about this one... dammit! _He sighed again. It occurred to him that he was sighing pretty much constantly. This couldn't go on...

He tried to put on his Mad Scientist face and got up to walk over to the boy.

Ron said, "Things not coming together for you? Tough nouggies. Kim's gonna be here any minute, you know... might as well give up now and save us all some time."

Drakken didn't say anything, but took the keys from his pocket and unlocked the manacles around Ron's wrists.

"Go" was all he said.

Ron was confused. "Go?"

"Yes, just go."

It had to be some sort of trick, some kind of trap... He tried sarcasm, to buy time until he could figure it out.

"Why would I want to go? I was just wondering what were going to have for dinner!"

The Dr. frowned, looking at him for the first time since he'd gotten up from his chair.

"See here, Stoppable... I'm setting you free. No tricks, nothing up my sleeve. So just get out of here. Now. Let me get back to my work." He turned around to make his way back to his desk.

Ron's eyebrows raised, "You know my name?"

Drakken stopped and closed his eyes. _THAT was stupid! Good show, Drew, he knows you know his name now. Pretty soon he's going to wonder -_

"If you know my name, how come you never use it?"

_Told you. JOLLY good show, Drew._

"Just GO! Leave me alone!" Drakken shouted with his back still turned, eyes closed.

But Ron didn't. There was something going on here, and he wanted to know what.

"Okay, I'll go. Soon as you tell me why you let me."

Drakken sighed heavily yet again. _No BLOODY way!_ "SHEGO! Shego, get down here!" he yelled.

Silence.

"SHEGO!" he yelled again.

Still nothing.

"She said she was taking the rest of the night off, if you remember" Ron said, "How can you be such a great scientist when you can't remember things from half an hour ago?"

"Oh. Drat. Yes, I remember now... Drat."

"So again: why are you just letting me go? No mind-control stuff, no ridiculous devices stuck on me... nothing. What's up with that?"

Still not facing the boy, Drakken only said, "You don't want to know."

"Try me."

Drakken whirled, showing real anger and frustration on his face, "YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW! Now get out of here before I... am forced to... to... to DO something!"

"Like what?" Ron wanted to know.

Drakken threw up his hands. He looked desperate. "Fine! If you won't go, I will! I expect you to be gone in ONE HOUR, Ron! You hear? One hour!" and he stormed off.

Ron thought, _So he knows BOTH my names! What the heck does he mean, 'I don't want to know?' _Ron chuckled to himself. Dr. Drakken was SO weird... kind of like a cross between Dr. Director and Bozo the Clown, with an unhealthy dose of brat thrown in for good measure. He got so flustered so easily it was... well, it was cute.

He walked out of the Lair uneasily, just the same. Something was SO wrong, here.

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Shego was a bit incensed, "Whaddaya mean you 'just let him go'!"

"What was I supposed to do with him? Besides, sooner or later, that Kim Possible would've come looking for him... and I have work to do. There was no -"

"You could've just let me put him in the hospital!"

Drakken winced because he knew that would have been the logical, appropriate, and proper thing to do. It would have kept him out of the way for awhile... He needed an excuse, something that sounded more clever than "I can't bear to see him hurt".

"True. Which would have just made Ms. Possible that much more upset." _Brilliant! _"This was the best way to keep a low profile. Really, Shego, you must leave the planning to me. At least until I start drawing a paycheck from _you_." _Touche'!_

Shego huffed, gave him a scornful look, and stomped off back to her room.

Drakken wiped the sweat from his forehead and went back to his giant mechanical spiders. _What about mutant, flesh-eating bunnies? Nah... been done..._

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Kim was a bit incensed, "Whaddaya mean he just 'let you go'!"

"I dunno KP... One minute I was manacled to the walls, then he comes over and unlocks me, and tells me to go. Just like that."

"You ask him why?" Kim had been ready to kick some blue ass, and to find Ron just walking calmly away from the lair had been _such_ a downer...

"He said I didn't want to know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kim asked suspiciously.

"Beats me. He was _real_ insistent about it, though... kinda strange. But he walked out on _me_ before I could get anything else outta him."

"Turn around. I wanna see if there's a Compliance chip on your back, or something -"

"No, Kim... nothing like that. I don't have any gaps in my memories, either. It was like I was distracting him from his Take-Over-the-World scheme or something. And he was looking at me funny. In fact, once..." Ron had remembered catching the Dr. staring at him, and then looking away when Ron caught him. He realized, _THAT_ was a situation he was familiar with, having been on the other end of it so many times at school.

"Once what?"

"Uh..." the implications were too staggering and weird to think straight, "Uh... I forget. What was I saying?"

"Ron – turn around. Now."

He rolled his eyes and turned around to let her check the back of his neck. The idea that Dr. Drakken might have been – _might, _have been, mind you – checking him out was still creeping him out Big Time. _That's SO sick-and-wrong! I mean... I mean... SO sick-and-wrong! I mean... _

He kept thinking that all the way home, but never followed it up with anything else. It was the easiest, safest thing to think, so he thought it. Over and over and over.

As a result of which, other parts of his mind began to wander.

"Ron? Why are you blushing like that?" Kim asked, slowing down to drop him off at his house.

He _was_ blushing... he could feel it. And he realized that – while he'd been re-affirming to himself how "sick-and-wrong" it was – being "checked out" by somebody, _any_body, even Dr. Drakken was... well... kind of... cool.

_I mean, IF he was 'checking me out'. I mean, if he was checking me out like THAT. I mean... sick-and-wrong? Sick-and-wrong! Don't even GO there! Gah!_

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"Ron! You find Drakken, I'll take care of Shego 'till the cops get here!"

"Got it KP!"

"Take _care_ of me? Well, we'll just SEE about that, Princess!" Shego smirked, and a green fire-ball sailed right in front of the red-head's face. The fight was on.

And while it raged – likely to be a long time – Ron ran through the halls of the Smithsonian looking for the blue mad-scientist. The blue mad-scientist who was crushing on him. He smiled with anticipation as he looked in gallery after gallery. This was going to be fun!

Ron found him in the Egyptian Artifacts Gallery, dressed in "civvies" - civilian clothes. Rather smartly dressed, too: a gray suit with black pin-stripes, matching vest, watch-fob, fedora... even a black umbrella with a silver eagle's-head handle. Ron had never seen such a thing. If it weren't for the blue skin and scar, he might not have recognized his arch-enemy. As it was, he said without thinking -

"Whoa! You're lookin' FINE, Doc!" Then he realized what he'd just done and cringed inside and out. He hadn't meant that the way it sounded... under these... conditions...

"You!" Drakken responded, dropping the Imperial Candy-Cane and a hunk of the Sphinx's Beard.

"Oh, c'mon, Drak. You know my name. What's my name? Doc? What -"

"Very well, Stoppable. You're certainly in good spirits for someone about to be scorched to ashes!"

"I don't think so, Doc. Kim's got my back – Shego's gonna be occupied for awhile. You know how that goes. Just you and me, now" Ron could see Drakken's eyes trying to avoid looking at him. He smiled wider. "Nice umbrella. Poison gas? Tranquilizer darts? Puh-lease don't tell me it's a 'laser' " he held up both hands to make quotation marks.

"Ha! Shows the depth of _your_ imagination! Welcome to my new Explodo-Ray!" Dr. Drakken pointed the umbrella at Ron threateningly.

But Ron was too busy trying to keep a straight face to worry about it. He also knew, somehow, that Drakken wasn't about to so much as scratch him, let alone kill him. Still trying to stifle his giggles, Ron said -

"Explode – oh – Ray?" He choked a laugh back, with difficulty. "Explode - OH – RAY? You can't be serious! C'mon... really? Explode – oh – Ray?" Finally the snorts came, followed by outright laughter.

"Yes! My new..." Drakken began, but stopped. Ron was trying to hold his sides in, as if he was already about to explode. His hair bounced as his body shook. Drakken had to look away, and actually blushed pink under the blue of his skin.

"What?" Drakken asked, abashed by the unexpected reaction of his nemesis. Ron's laughter had died down to a constant giggle.

"What's so funny? Explodo-Ray! You shoot it, and things explode! What would YOU call it?"

"I dunno, Doc, but I'd HIRE somebody to name it, if I had to, before I'd call it an 'Explode – oh – Ray'!" Ron cracked up again.

_Perhaps a demonstration is in order..._ Drakken thought, and aimed just to Ron's left. He pulled the trigger, and a blue line of something that looked like a cross between liquid and light shot from the umbrella into the wall ten yards behind the boy. Said wall exploded, and then collapsed.

Which, of course, triggered the alarms. A twenty-ton steel door slid down from the entry-way into the Gallery and before the smoke from the aftermath of the Explodo-Ray had cleared, they were trapped.

"Drat" Was all Drakken could think to say.

"So blow a hole in the door... big deal" Ron suggested.

"Well, you see... it's just that..." Drakken stalled.

"It short-circuited, didn't it Doc..." Ron said dejectedly. Poor Doc.

"Shego will get us – I mean, me, out." _But not until she's through playing with that girl Possible..._ he added silently.

"Maybe. If the cops don't get here first." It looked like they would have some time to kill, together. "So, what was the Big Plan, Doc? What do you want ancient Egyptian artifacts for, anyway?" Ron asked, making hero/villain small-talk.

"Power source. Never you mind what for. Besides, I like Egyptian things. I like turquoise and gold, lapis-lazuli... The Egyptians had style for three thousand years. I'm impressed by that."

"Never really cared for it myself. Kinna 2-D, if ya know what I mean."

The small-talk went on for an hour. Drakken was smart, even if he was goofy. And Ron was goofy, though he was clever in his own fashion. Ron commented on the suit, flustering Dr. Drakken. Dr. Drakken, in turn, told Ron how frustrated Ron's seemingly random ability to foil his plans made him feel, flattering the boy. With nothing to do but wait, they found out more about each other in that hour than in the previous three years.

Drakken sat on King Tut's throne and looked at his watch, "You'd think they'd be about done by now... Shego and Kim, I mean."

"Oh, you know how they are. I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd think they almost _liked_... uh..." Ron wasn't sure he wanted to complete the sentence. At least, not here, not now, not with him.

"Yes, I've noticed that too. I really think they might be."

"Might be what?" Ron knew the answer. Did he just want to hear the words?

Drakken actually looked into Ron's eyes, for just a second, before pretending to be interested in the Imperial Candy-Cane again. "Might be homosexual. Tell me that's not what you were thinking, and I'll eat this candy-cane."

Ron didn't answer. The whole subject was... taboo. He'd been thinking that about Kim for some time, even tried to "feel her out" about it, to no avail. If she was, it was buried deep. And as he wondered _how_ deep, and what to _do_ about it – as if it was any of his business – he began to wonder if _he_ had anything to hide, as well. He didn't _think_ so... but Ron knew himself well enough to know that "I don't think so" could well mean something different than flat-out "no".

"Well?" Drakken waited for an answer. Ron's answer - _if_ he answered - would break the ice on this particular subject. And Ron had set himself up for it! It was too ironic!

"Yeah, it's what I was thinking. But we don't talk about it! Got it? Whatever's between Kim and Shego is their business, not ours. Right?"

"As you wish, Ron."

That marked the first time tonight he had called him "Ron", and Ron looked at him trying to guess his game. Dr. Drakken was still studying the artifacts in his hands.

Ron sighed. He _hated_ games like this... mostly because he always seemed to lose. And Drakken may have had a lot of "Bozo" in him, but he _was_ older, and _probably_ wiser, at least in some ways. And he really _did_ look fine in that suit... He sighed yet again. _Yeah, so he looks good in the suit. Doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean... anything..._

Meanwhile, Drakken was thinking; _First Base: we share a secret. Maybe next we can play 'Spin the Bottle' or 'Truth of Dare'. Bah! What am I doing? I'm supposed to be conquering the world, dammit! I have giant mechanical spiders to outsource! _He sighed inside, which was expressed outside as a very slow, deliberate blink of his eyes. _So, he's cute, he's clever, he has a certain... random skill. Alright, already, so he's adorable! I admit it! He's also a teenager! You remember being a teenager, Drew?_

The problem was, he really didn't. It was that long ago. He could remember things that _must_ have happened when he was Ron's age, like getting his driver's license, but that was about all. He had to count back to even figure out what grade he'd been in school. So it was absolutely impossible for him to wonder what it might have been like if some one – some _man_ – twice his age had ever... had a relationship with him. _That_ was why it was wrong. One of the reasons, anyway. There were others, but that was The Biggie. At least in this one area of life, even Dr. Drakken, evil master-mind (in his own mind), believed in the Golden Rule.

"So, what about you, Doc?" Ron asked, jolting the Dr. out of his reverie.

"Um... pardon me? What about what about me?"

"How long have you been..." Despite having rehearsed the line a dozen times, Ron couldn't actually bring himself to say it.

"Evil? Well, since this one time when -"

"No."

"Blue? I was in an accident with -"

"No!"

"A scientist? Oh, I've always had -"

"NO! GAY, Doc! How long have you been GAY!"

Point of no return.

_Well, THAT worked out just right, didn't it Drew? Isn't that what you wanted? Not like that! NOT LIKE THIS! Bloody hell.. dammit all to bloody hell..._ What else to do?

"Always" he said simply.

Like Ron hadn't guessed. What did he expect the Dr. to say?_ Since 3:30 in the afternoon Sunday, May 13th, 1972? _He suddenly felt silly – and very, very young – for having asked. He began to walk toward some more-distant artifacts. "Sorry, Doc... I dunno why I asked that. None of my business... I just..." Take a breath, Ron. "Anyway, uh, I won't tell anyone. I mean, if you don't want me to."

Drakken considered; should he ask Ron the same question? He wanted to know. He _badly_ wanted to know... But, did it make a difference? Was he seriously considering... well, was he? To fantasize about was one thing. Would he... No. Concentrate on your work, Drew. You have that. Wasn't it Budda who said that suffering comes from desire? He would have to look that up, when he got home. Old Budda might have been onto something there...

"Aren't you going to ask me the same thing? Fair is fair..." Ron asked from the far corner of the Gallery.

"No" Drakken said quickly, before he would have a chance to think about it.

"Why not?"

"Because... because I don't want to know." Not exactly the truth, but not exactly a lie, either. Half-and-half.

Suddenly, the vault door opened, revealing Shego and Kim, _still_ fighting each other. One of them had obviously punched he "door open" button. It didn't really matter which one. Drakken gathered up the artifacts he was stealing.

"Doc... Drakken, I mean, Dr. Drakken" Ron stood in front of the opening facing him, "_Please_ put that stuff down so I can let you walk out of here. Please?"

This was something new. Young or not, the boy did have the power to stop him, and they both knew it. But to just let him go?

"You... you'd do that?" Drakken asked wide-eyed.

"I owe ya one, don't I? Now c'mon, put 'em back. Let's both get outta here before the cops come and start asking a lot of questions..."

"If the police were coming, they'd be here by now. Even DC police aren't _this_ slow." Drakken considered his options.

Ron looked him in the eye, "Okay, then just drop 'em because _I asked_ you too, nicely. And said 'please'."

There were other power-sources for giant mechanical spiders. Drakken put the Imperial Candy-Cane, and Sphinx's Beard fragment back into their display-cases. He walked toward the waiting Ron empty-handed. But Ron still wasn't moving to get out of his way.

"What? I've done as you requested, have I not?"

Ron carefully considered his answer. He was the one in control of the situation now, and didn't feel so young as he had before. Drakken was in his hands...

"Yeah. I was just wondering if you'd wanna go get something to eat, before we all head home." Going for broke.

Kim had Shego in an arm-lock, which the green one of the pair was just about to break out of it with a new move she'd been practicing, when they heard Ron's question and froze, looking at the man and the boy in the Gallery.

Drakken thought for a minute, everyone watching him. His face went through quite an astonishing range of expressions. Finally, he seemed to settle on one.

"Oysters?"

"ICK! Pizza."

"I'm afraid not. Steak, then."

"Deal" Ron said.

"Need a lift? My hovercraft is right outside. Seats four."

Ron and Dr. Drakken looked at the girls.

"Y'all comin'?" Ron asked.

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More to Come? I honestly don't know.


	2. Chapter 2: Me, uh, and, uh,

Ron and Dr. Drakken looked at the girls.

"Y'all comin'?" Ron asked.

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For the girls, dinner was tense. They kept eyeing each other in secret, and preparing themselves to expect the unexpected from their arch-foes. Several times, Shego lit up a single hand, hiding it under the table.

Ron and Drakken, on the other hand, were behaving _almost_ like old buddies, discussing past Plans for Ultimate Conquest, how they failed, and why... Dr. Drakken would always blame Team Possible, Ron would always point out the Dr.'s engineering flaws and poorly-thought-out plans. They made fun of other villains as well, both laughing at the exploits of Monkey Fist, DNAmy... and especially Killigan.

"Oh, I know! The man has exploding golf-balls, and it's his_ only_ schtick! I'm amazed they let him in the Guild! I should start a petition to get him kicked out..."

"C'mon, Doc, he's like the Comic Relief of Evil! Let him be. You're just jealous you didn't think of the golf-ball bit, arent'cha?"

"Bah!... At least I do something different every time. We _do_ have standards..."

"Like inventions that only work once? Three words: Explode – oh – Ray."

"Coincidence. And it's _two_ words: 'Explodo-Ray'."

Kim and Shego watched them with frowns on their faces, trying to figure out what was going on, or even _if_ something _was_ going on.

The ride home was silent (for a hovercraft – not exactly a stealthy form of transport). Kim kept studying Ron in the backseat, while Shego did the same to Drakken, glancing back at the two do-gooders from time to time to make sure _they_ weren't up to something, too.

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"All right, Dr. D... What the _hell_ was THAT all about?" Shego asked as soon as they'd dropped off Team Possible.

Drakken played innocent, "What do you mean?"

" 'What do you mean?'" Shego mocked, "You know perfectly well 'what I mean'! I mean you and the sidekick chumming up like that! Like you're long-lost buddies, is what I MEAN! You DIDN'T get your stuff, you DIDN'T leave a trail of destruction... and then you TREATED THEM TO DINNER? If I'm gonna keep working for you, I NEED to know what's going on here!"

Drakken looked at her calmly. "You'd quit me, would you?"

"Drakken..." Shego started, then stopped as she seriously considered the question. Quit Drakken? Kim seemed to have a special alert on Drakken's plans, even when Shego wasn't providing the hints. Would she... meet... Kim as often working for, oh, Monkey Fist or Senor Senior, Sr? Not likely. Was she willing to give that up? Not likely.

And why not? Was it going to get her anywhere? Would Kim ever...

Not likely. She and her sidekick were inseperable.

"Yes?" the Dr. prompted Shego to finish her thought.

"... I might. But not yet. Don't think I have any special reason to stay, though!"

Drakken considered. He decided not to press the issue, besides, perhaps it was all in his head, perhaps Shego and Kim really were fighting to the death, each time, as a hero and a villain should.

But... it wasn't likely.

Shego had calmed down now, too uncomfortable with the way the confrontation was going to continue it. She filed her fingernails vehemently.

Drakken frowned. The evening had been... enjoyable, for him. ALL of the evening, including being trapped with Ron in the Smithsonian. He smiled wanly at himself when he thought about his short-circuted Explodo-Ray... Ron was right, he really SHOULD pay more attention to engineering. Invention as all fine and well, but if you couldn't get your inventions to WORK, it was really kind of pointless. Ron had something on the ball, there.

Drakken closed his eyes. _Added to that, he's just so GAWD-AWFUL cute! Gah! I shouldn't have accepted the invitation... I should have just walked away... what was I THINKING! He's a BOY! Okay, granted, an exceptional boy, almost a man... just when, exactly, does one go from boy to man, anyway? When did I? Why can't I remember? Surely it must have occurred to me at the time..._

_Oh, well. Maybe it'll never happen again. If I could only keep Shego from getting caught by Kim damn near EVERY time she leaves the Lair... I think she's sending Possible tips anonymously... Really, I should just fire her. But how could I replace her? And could her replacement break me out of jail, next time I get caught?_

_And if she doesn't bring Kim into our plans, Kim won't bring Ron. Oh, bloody hell..._

So many questions.

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"All right, Ron... What the _hell_ was THAT all about?" Kim asked as soon as they'd been dropped off.

Ron, too, played innocent, "What do you mean?"

"You know _exactly_ what I mean! You don't think I _saw_ you? I was right there, Ron! You... you were _flirting_ with Dr. Drakken!"

Ron opened his mouth in preparation for a strong objection to that statement – then thought again. _Flirting? I mean... I kinna like him... in a way... and I... I REALLY enjoyed the conversation, and watching him smile – god he has a beautiful smile – and laugh, and get flustered and embarassed. And yeah, I was feelin' good. So what? Flirting? Was I?_

_Gawd, was I flirting? _

_Well, how the hell should I know? I never "flirted" before! Was I then?_

Kim was still looking aghast at him, and expecting an answer.

"Was I flirting? I didn't notice..." he said earnestly.

Kim was deflated. She'd been expecting the "strong objection" that Ron had initially prepared to give her, and she had her proof lined up like so much ammunition to counter it. It hadn't ever occurred to her that he might _NOT_ object at all!

And now, she didn't know _what_ to think, let alone say.

Ron seemed to be wondering to himself. And... and _smiling_ to himself, too!

"Ron?" she asked, having no real question she dared voice in mind.

He came back to earth and looked at her. "Yeah?"

"You? ... and Drakken... ?"

That was the question, wasn't it... _Me and Drakken?_ He imagined it. Him and Drakken. A Pair. Couple. "Seeing" each other. The scenes that played out in his mind weren't like he'd have imagined they'd be only a few hours before. And they didn't make him feel like he had been sure they would have, either. Him and Drakken. _Well, yeah. Maybe. Maybe not... PROBABLY not... but yeah. Maybe. _But he wasn't about to say that to Kim. Instead, he countered.

"Lemme ask you this, KP: You... and Shego?" It was a challenge.

"What!" Things were happening a little fast for the teenage cheerleader. They didn't cover this sort of thing in Sex-Ed.

"You and Shego. What about that?" Ron said, honestly trying not to sound flippant.

"Me... and..." was as far as Kim would get tonight.

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In Shego's "Lair apartment" that night, after a shower and half a bottle of Cabernet Sauvingnon, she could finally think things out.

The boy had been flirting with Dr. D, and Dr. D had been soaking it up. Soaking it _up_! She could see it now. She'd been so... apprehensive... about Kim at dinner, she wasn't really paying attention, other than to look at her boss from time to time and think "What the hell..." But now, it was all coming back to her. Kim's sidekick and boyfriend, Ron Stoppable, was crushing on Dr. Dew Lipsky – Drakken – and Drakken was _letting_ him! Which meant that Drakken was... and Stoppable was... and Kim was... _NOT_ his girlfriend!

_Whoa. Down girl. Settle down now... that's a long way to go on a little rope. Maybe he swings both ways... wait a minute – Kim wouldn't put up with that. I don't THINK so. A three-way with Drakken? Princess? Gimme a break... Okay, maybe I'm wrong about the whole "flirting" thing, then._ She thought about how Ron had looked up from his food without lifting his head, surruptitiously eyeing the older – _much_ older – man. No, the flirting was a definite. So... if she was wrong about something, it was that Ron and Kim were a couple. Perhaps they weren't. _Probably_ they weren't!

She got up to find Dr. D and put the question to him, because she couldn't – simply _could not_ – stand to wait.

He was frowning at his terminal in the lab, as usual.

"Uh, Dr. D?" Shego ask unusually timidly... how did you ask someone something like this?

"Shego. You're up late." He didn't look up from his terminal. The Japanese MegaZilla Corp. was trying to tell him they could't fill his Giant Spider order, and he knew perfectly well they could. He was trying to read between the lines to see what they _really_ wanted.

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep. Uh... so, that Stoppable boy is kind of cute, isn't he..."

_THAT_ got his attention. He looked at her over the top of his flat-screen, but didn't say anything.

But Shego was at a loss. _You gonna date him? You want him? You LIKE him? LIKE like?_ Shego felt like she was in 6th grade again..._ So, Dr. D, thinking of seeing him on a non-professional level? _Oh, yeah, that was SO much better. Doy! How does one DO this?

Finally, Dr. Drakken himself broke the intensly awkward silence, "Indeed. Something you want to ask me about him?"

_Indeed?_ Is he admitting something? Dammit, Drakken! Of all the times to pick to be obtuse!

Shego took a deep breath. What was the worst he could do? "He was flirting with you."

Drakken looked back down at his screen. "I believe you're right." Knowing his face was hidden, he couldn't help but smile. It was nice to hear it confirmed.

None of which was helping Shego at all. "So... I mean... he and... well, he and you... you -"

"Perhaps. You have an opinion about it, do you?" His face was still hidden behind the monitor panel.

"Oh! No! I mean... that's... that's your business! No. Uhm... hell. Sorry to bother you, I can see you're working. G'nite, Dr. D."

Drakken looked over the top of the monitor again as Shego was walking away. Her head hung down, and her walk was listless. Shego _never_ walked listlessly...

"Shego?"

"Yeah?" She turned around, not knowing what to expect.

"If I can do it, so can you. Good night, Shego." He began typing his response to MegaZilla Corp.

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	3. Chapter 3: Clothes Make the Man

"If I can do it, so can you. Good night, Shego." He began typing his response to MegaZilla Corp.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

That night, Ron couldn't stop thinking. And the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to _keep_ thinking about it. It was weird, how that worked. Everything about this was weird.

How comfortable he felt with the mad scientist was weird. It was kind of like with Kim, yet different. It was almost like Drakken _needed_ him, to remind him to water-proof his robots, double-check his solder-joints, think up decent names for his inventions. Kim didn't really _need_ him for anything at all. It was more like Kim _put up_ with him, he realized. She called on him when she needed something, otherwise she didn't call at all. _He_ was the one doing all the calling...

It was weird how... okay, how _good_ Drakken had looked in the suit. Wide shoulders, narrow waist... there _were_ those people who would've called him a "hunk". Was _he_ one of those people? Was he... _attracted_ to this man more than twice his age? And if he was, was it Sick And Wrong? So how come it didn't feel that way?

How come he wished he were in the Lair right now, munching popcorn and going over Drakken's latest "World Conquest" plan with him? Huh? How come?

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Drakken was going over a list of possible names for his Giant Mechanical Spiders. He couldn't very call them that, or GMSes, but on his list of ten candidates, he kept crossing them out. Spider-Bots. No. Techo-Spiders. No. Spido-techs? Maybe.

He wished Ron were there to look at the list. It would be SO embarrassing if Ron laughed at whatever he named them... he didn't want to go through that again. He closed his eyes picturing the scene: he in his smoking-jacket, Ron in pajamas, both of them sipping Coco-Moo with papers spread out on the floor, blueprints and checklists, yakking about the Plan. Ron making fun of the him for his un-melodic names and engineering faux-pas, him making fun of Ron's lack of understanding of mathematics and science... perhaps the both of them making fun of Killigan. That _had_ been fun, at dinner.

He sighed. Okay, so it was a pipe-dream. He could still dream... nothing wrong with dreaming... Ron in pajamas. Yes, _that_ would be dreamy...

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Kim could only think to herself, _Me... and..._

She couldn't even decide whether it was a good or bad thing, whether she'd ever considered such a thing, whether she'd ever even _noticed_ Shego like... that. So why was the idea, or rather, the _partial_ idea, playing over and over in her head? _Me... and..._

Kim suddenly realized that what everyone said about her was right: she _was_ a goody-two-shoes. In fact, she was _so_ much of one, that she'd never even looked at _any_ porn on the net. And she was so busy – school, cheer leading, working out, saving-the-world – that she'd never had the idle _time_ to consider things like... sex... and the different forms it could take. She was always in a rush to get to the next thing, to get past whatever the present thing was, and on to the future thing.

So why was _this_ thing stopping her cold in her tracks? _Me... and..._

_Shego..._

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_If I can do it, so can you_, he'd said. Shego kept hearing the words. She was Shego. _Nothing_ stood in her way! If she wanted something, she _took_ it! No if's, and's or but's.

But that wasn't exactly true this time, now was it...

She'd been getting more – distracted – by the red-headed teenager for over a year now. There were other women who distracted her more, for sure, but none who could kick her ass. That was a new thing. That made it... different.

But Kim WAS a teenager, after all! And a cheerleader, for god's sake! That thought actually made her shudder. A _cheerleader_! Doy! How humiliating... how could any self-respecting woman be a cheerleader? She didn't understand it at all. _At all_. It was like being a performing monkey at the circus, with a side-order of tawdriness thrown in to keep the boys happy. It was kind of disgusting, in a way.

But here Shego was, hoping for a peek up her short, pleated skirt... And now Dr. D saying "If I can do it, so can you." That pervert. What kind of relationship could he have with a... then again, what kind of relationship did _she_ want with Kim Possible, for that matter.

_Okay, so I'm shallow. A shallow pervert too, just like Dr. D. I just want to get into her panties, that's all. But GAWD how I want to get into her panties!_ It wasn't something she could just _take, _though. That was something she'd have to _ask_ for - ask Kim, her enemy - and Kim could say "no". Almost certainly would say "no", too. Almost certainly would. Almost certainly. Almost...

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Dr. Drakken walked into Shego's gym and eyed the Universal Station. It's cables and pulleys and attachments were fascinating. He wore over-sized basketball shorts of yellow-golden nylon that came down below his knees. He looked over at Shego, whose eyes were closed as she counted pull-ups.

"Seventy-_six_, seventy-_seven, _seventy -"

"Ahem" Drakken pretended to clear his throat without looking at her.

Shego saw and froze, holding herself at the top of the bar in amazement. "Whoa! Dr. D!"

"Intriguing device, this... thought I'd give it a try. You see how the leverage is controlled by -"

"Yeah, it's a Wonder of Science" Shego said, and started to giggle, "I didn't realize you hailed from 'da hood', Doc."

"Pardon me?"

Shego let go of the bars. "Y'know. 'Da hood, dawg. Chill.'" She began to laugh out loud obviously looking at his ridiculous shorts.

Drakken blushed. "But I thought -"

"Yeah, I _know_ what you thought. Okay, look, we can get you some _proper_ exercise shorts later. I gotta go to the mall anyway." She paused, thinking about the reason Dr. D had suddenly taken up an interest in physical fitness - and fashion - as it were.

"Oh, good! I need to look at some more suits, while we're there. And maybe another hat. And some updated lab-coats... that old blue thing is -"

"You're serious about this, aren't you... You're really gonna go after that boy?"

That was the question Dr. Drakken had been avoiding even asking himself. It took him awhile to regain his composure.

"He's not such a 'boy' as all that. And... I don't know." His eyes met hers. "I really don't know what's going to happen. I just... I'll just see how it goes, I suppose."

_That's actually a pretty reasonable answer_, Shego thought. _Poor guy, he's what the romance novels call 'smitten'. It's SO cute!_

"What about you, Shego? Are _you_ going to do anything, or will you just continue chewing your lip until you finally bite it off..."

Shego's cheerful fun turned serious, with those words.

"Is it obvious?" she asked in all honesty.

He could say 'quite' and sound clever. Or he could say 'Doy', mocking her, and sound even _more_ clever.

"Yes" he said, finally.

"Really?" She had thought it was her Big Secret. Who else knew?

Drakken sat down on the machine, hanging his arms over the deltoid-bar casually. "I doubt it's so obvious to the casual observer, Shego, but yes, I've noticed. Ron has too, incidentally."

"Ro – Stoppable? Noticed that... that I..."

"Not you."

As the blood drained from her face, Shego felt dizzy, _very_ dizzy. She fished around behind her for something to sit on, and – not finding anything – fell on her butt.

"Are you all right, Shego?" Drakken said, getting up. He hit his head on the bar that held the deltoid pulley.

"Ow! Dratted machine! Damn it all!" he rubbed the bump on his head.

That was the bit of reality that Shego had needed, just then, to let her know that the world _was_ still spinning in the right direction. She'd begun to wonder.

"I guess I'm as 'all right' as YOU are, Dr. D. Hey. Let me get cleaned up" she grinned mischeviously, " WE are going SHOPPING!"

"Something in your voice is scaring me, Shego..."

"As well you should be. Next time we deal with Team Possible, we are going to be _SO_ ready! You and me both! Now go get your disguise on!"

It wasn't how Dr. D had planned the day to go... it was better.

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Sing it to yourself: "Every Girl Crazy 'Bout a Sharp-Dressed Man".

"What about this one?" he asked her, strolling straight-backed from the changing-room.

Shego looked up from her magazine, still wagging her crossed leg impatiently. "So, we're going for the 1920's Detective look, are we?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. That's _exactly_ what I'm going for. Thank you. Miss! I'll take these."

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Shego hung the five outfits she'd picked in front of Dr. Drakken. "Which one – no, which _three –_ do ya think?"

The five outfits were only a hair above cos-play clothes representing, not too subtly: Dominatrix, Japanese School Girl, French Maid, Biker Slut, and Sunday-School Jail Bait.

"I think you're confused, She – uh, Sara" he said using her under-cover name.

"What?" Shego said, almost leering at the clothes, "These are great!"

"You are confused about whom you are buying clothes _for_, Sara. I get the feeling that those are... things... that you would like to see _her_ wear. I doubt _she_ would feel the same way about seeing _you_ in them. Do you see?"

She thought about it, still staring at the outfits. "Damn. Damn, damn, damn!" Still, she couldn't tear her eyes away. She was especially in the mood for Biker Slut, right now. Red-headed, pointy-chested, Biker Slut.

"Well, I'm getting them anyway. So there. Uhm... any suggestions would be welcome, about now..."

Drakken smirked. _He_ was to give fashion advice to _Shego_. He looked back at the book he'd bought earlier: 'Partially Differentiable, Finite-Element Kalman Filtering – For Dummies'.

"Club Banana" he said.

"Doy!"

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Ron was reading up on the Legislative Branch of the American Federal Government. He could barely keep his eyes open. Rufus, back from his annual trip to the vet, wasn't even trying, but instead lay fast asleep on the desk next to the telephone.

Ron looked at his pet enviously. "You are SO lucky, Rufus. Not a care in the world, and naked, as well. SO lucky!"

Or perhaps not. The phone rang, and Rufus jumped all the way to the ceiling. He remained hanging there by his claws, panting.

"Hello?" It was probably Wade, or Kim, or maybe -

"It's me." Dr. Drakken.

"Dr. Drakken? Uh... Hi! Uh... I mean... uh" Ron stammered, a little chagrined over his obvious show of enthusiasm with the "Hi!".

"Listen, Ron. I'd like to run some names by you. See which ones you like. That alright?" Drakken, too, sounded a bit nervous.

"You... want my opinion on some names?" Ron could handle that. He relaxed, leaning back and putting his feet up on his desk. "So, just what is it we're naming here, Doc?"

"Giant Mechanical Spiders."

"How 'giant'?"

"About three stories. 50 feet. So... you'll help me with this?"

"The Ron-man's at your service, Doc! Come ahead with the names." This was so COOL! Dr. Drakken, Evil Mad Scientist, calling HIM for advice! And, Ron knew, he needed it, too. 'Explode-oh-Ray'. Seriously.

"Right. Here goes: Spido-bots."

"I don't think so."

"Spido-techs?"

"Sounds like what you'd call the maintenance crew. No."

"Spido -"

"What have you got without 'Spido' in it?"

"Oh. Ah..." Ron could hear pages flipping, "Arachno-bots."

"Closer. Keep going."

"Arachno-techs."

"I'm seeing a pattern here, Doc. Keep the 'Arachno', but drop the 'tech'. What's left?"

"Uh... Arachnoids."

Silence.

"I said, 'Arachnoids'. You there, Ron?"

"I was thinking. Lemme try it out" Ron said. He put the phone down and looked out his window, pointing at nothing in horror, "Oh my God! It's an ARACHNOID! Run!" He picked up the phone again.

"I think you got it, Doc! 'Arachnoid'! I KNEW you could do it!"

"Oh, well... thank you..." Ron could feel Drakken blushing.

Ron took a sip of soda, "So, three-story tall 'arachnoids', huh? Got pincers?"

"Spiders don't have 'pincher's', Ron. That's scorpions."

"Whatever. Shoots sticky webs, then..."

"Mechanical. No webs, either."

"Well, what then? Oh, no... don't tell me..."

"Laser-cannons."

Dr. Drakken has some serious imagination issues, Ron thought. He sighed.

"What am I gonna do with you, Doc? You and the lasers. I swear. It's so sad."

"What's wrong with lasers? They're twenty-megawatt lasers, you know. Capable of -"

Ron interrupted him. "Do they make a noise?"

"What? A noise?"

"Yeah. When you fire them, do they make a noise. Like '_zap!_' or '_foom!'_?"

"Of course they don't make a noise..."

"Can you see the beam? Is there a blindingly bright red or green beam?"

"Of course not, let me explain how a 'laser' works, Ron. You see -"

"Can it, Doc. So basically, here comes this 'arachnoid'. It makes no noise, and you can't see if it's shooting anything or not. But things just start melting or exploding suddenly, while it just stands there. That about right for a battle-plan?"

"Well... I hadn't thought about it... but -"

"What's wrong with plain old rockets, Doc? Ever think about that?" Ron took a shot of candy Hot Tamales.

"Rockets?" Drakken asked.

"Yeah. WHOOSH! WIZZZ! FFSSSSAAAOOOWWW! BOOM! Trails of smoke, fireballs. Rockets. What do you have against rockets?"

"Rockets. I see. Actually, they _would_ be quite a lot cheaper..."

"So you can buy more of 'em! And they don't need the kind of power a laser does, either. But mostly, they'll make your 'arachnoids' SCARY, and people will be able to TELL they're destroying things. Instead of pointing to them and wondering what the heck is going on. Get it?"

"I see your point."

"You sure you're cut out for this business, Doc?"

"I'll have you know, Ron, that -" Drakken began, sounding more than a little insulted.

"Okay okay... I was just pulling your chain, Doc. I didn't mean it. You're Evil. Really. You just need a little... theatre... so people can tell, sometimes. Y'know?"

"Yes, I see... well... thank you for your help... uh, Ron..."

"Anything else I can do?" Ron wasn't ready for the conversation to end. It was the most fun he'd had all day.

"Well, no, I really only called to ask about the names..."

"Yeah, okay. So, I guess you're not gonna tell me what you're going to DO with your 'arachnoids', huh?"

"Of course not!"

"Okay, calm down. I'll find out sooner or later, I'm sure. Oh, one more thing: you ARE gonna paint 'em blue, right?"

"Why would I -"

"So people can tell they're YOURS, Doc! Geez! Do I have to think of EVERYTHING here?"

This went on for three more hours. Finally, at one in the morning, after Drakken had _finally_ agreed that the Naco _might_ deserve to be called a "balanced meal", and Ron had promised to take pre-calculus next year - even if it meant summer-school - they hung up their phones.

Rufus was still staring at him from the ceiling. His eyes were wider than his whole head usually was. "What?" Ron asked the animal.


	4. Chapter 4: Clothes Make the  Boy, too

Rufus was still staring at him from the ceiling. His eyes were wider than his whole head usually was. "What?" Ron asked the animal.

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(Same night)

_Me... and... Shego...? Me... and... Shego...?_

Now that Kim could actually think the whole thing, she couldn't stop. Images of the green vixen began popping up in her mind – scenes from fights, scenes from the bantering, her green-and-black suit - that looked _so_ good on her, her in other clothes – that _also_ looked _so_ good on her... Her hair, her tiny butt, her breasts... Her breasts... That one time when they fought in the refrigerated box-car... Uh... Her breasts...

Uh. Her hands... yeah, her hands. Shego really had the most beautiful hands, the few times Kim had seen her with her gloves off. Kim liked hands. She was only now finding out just _how much_ she liked hands. She wondered what those hands would feel like. What they'd feel like on _her._ What they'd feel like on her... own breasts. And on her... maybe... something like... _this_...

(ten minutes later)

"Kimmicub?" Her Mom poked her head in the door, "I wanted to ask..."

"Eeep!"

" ... you about the game tomorrow? Uhm... what time was it again?" _Good save, Anne._ Mrs. Possible thought,_ That was a close one. Remember to KNOCK next time! 'Kimmicub' is growing up, it seems._

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"Well? What do you think?" Shego asked.

"_... seven..." _Drakken looked over at her from the bench-press. "Miss Lara Croft, I presume. Yes, from what I know of Kim Possible, I should think that would be an excellent choice. Uhm... turn around." She did, letting her weight rest on just one leg, for maximum effect. "Yes. That should do nicely."

He went back to his presses, " ... _eight... (pant) ...nine..._"

"What rep you on?"

" 'Rep'? Oh. (_pant_)One."

"Too much weight Dr. D. Here." Shego walked around in back of the machine and cut the weight in half. "Okay, two more reps of ten."

"This is too easy!"

"How long have you been working-out, Doc? You tell me that after you're done, and I'll _think_ about believing you. Meanwhile, don't try to impress yourself – let alone _me_ – with how much weight you can handle. It's the reps that count. Rule Number One."

Shego sat on a free-weight bench and pulled her hair around in front of her, bunching it up and stroking it.

Dr. Drakken watched her. "I know what you're thinking, Shego. And I advise against it."

That Dr. Drakken, the Incurable Goofball, would know what she was thinking caught Shego off-guard. This whole business of sharing a common goal with him... with _him_... was SO weird. In the past two days, she'd hardly threatened his life even _once_! And now he knew what she was thinking?

"What do you know about it? You men have no idea – NO IDEA – how much of a pain hair like this is! Washing, brushing, keeping the split-ends under control... it's a nightmare! Besides, I haven't changed it in years. I think it's time -"

"Two things, Shego. One: you don't want to shock the girl TOO much, right off the bat. Two: if you want to change it, ask her what she thinks. It gives you two something to talk about. Something personal, too. Actually, it's almost the perfect -"

"Doctor D! I can't believe it! You are SUCH the sneaky bastard! I'm... I'm actually impressed!"

Drakken went back to his reps. "Why, thank-you, Shego. Thank you for your admiration of my dating tactics, while completely ignoring the brilliance of my many nefarious inventions. Perhaps I should take my mother's advice and become a radio talk-show host after all. Bah!"

Shego actually giggled at him. They continued working out.

An hour later, while Shego cooled off on the elliptical, and Drakken was leaning face-forward on the wall, holding himself in the breeze of the fan, she said, "Ya know, Doc. You should take your own advice."

He looked over at her uncomprehending. "I don't think I'd really care to discuss hair-styles with -"

"No no, Doc. Not hair." She got off the machine and went to the water-cooler. "What I meant was... Look, I don't mind you using my gym and all – so long as you wipe your sweat up – but... you ever think of finding out where Ron works out? I mean, he must _do_ it, right? Being a super-hero's sidekick and all. You should be asking _him_ about it... maybe showing up at _his_ gym. Getting all sweaty together... talking about your bodies, checking each other out. Y'know... Man and boy, working -"

"_I WISH_, Shego," Drakken said in exasperation, "that you would stop referring to him as a 'boy'. "

"You're not thinking I should call him a 'man', are ya?" she said with her trademark sarcasm, and smirking her trademark smirk.

"He's exactly the same age as your – as Miss. Possible. Should I refer to _her_ as a 'child'?"

Shego's trademark attitude and smirk disappeared in a flash. That hadn't occurred to her. Here she'd been getting _sort of_ comfortable with the idea that Dr. Drakken was a "cradle-robber"... and _she_ had been planning exactly the same thing! But... but she and Kim were only a handful of years apart. Stoppable and Drakken were at least FIVE TIMES farther! And yet, she and Drakken were both "adults"... was he so much more "adult" than she was? Or even 'as much', in some ways?

She rubbed her temples. These were not complications she liked to deal with. Kim wasn't a "child", surely. And... and besides, the attraction, at least according to what Drakken had told her about Ron's remark, was mutual. So... did it matter? This was SO... doy! She needed a hot shower to think about it. And another bottle of wine.

Small wonder Dr. D was so sensitive to her using the word 'boy'! I sort of had a different connotation from 'girl'. Shego could think of herself as a 'girl', but who could ever – even slightly, under any circumstances – think of Drakken as a 'boy'?

"Okay, Dr. D. I get your point. I hadn't thought of... of it like that" Shego admitted. Then, seeing him also rubbing his temples, she added, "I'm sorry. How about 'guy'? Can we just call him a 'guy'?"

Hearing Shego say "I'm sorry" got Drakken's attention. But he still avoided looking at her. "That'll be fine. And thank you for the idea, but I'd imagine he does his 'working-out' at the school gym, so that -"

"Okay, so ask him to recommend a gym, or a program... or just a place to run, then. And if he starts showing up there, instead of doing it at school, you'll know you're in-like-Flynn! Right?"

Drakken looked up, then over at her, in two independent motions. "Shego! That's absolutely brilliant! I'm giving you a five-percent raise!"

She assumed The Smirk again, "Great. I can get myself that new emery-board I've been looking at."

"What's an 'emery-board'?"

She chuckled as she made her way to the shower, "Never mind, Doc. And you're welcome."

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"Well, yes... I could stand to lose a few pounds, I spend so much time sitting around at the lab, you see, and -" Drakken was saying on the phone, before Ron cut him off.

"Doc. Uh... listen. Uhm..." Ron thought long and hard. How to say this? He was so surprised about the whole thing, that Drakken would be... like _that_... Not that he _minded_, so to speak... but...

"... it's just not my scene, Doc. Okay? The whole 'locker-room' thing, I mean. 'Baths' and stuff. So San Francisco. I... I'm not tryin' to shoot you down, here, but -"

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Ron." What was Ron trying to tell him? That he didn't utilize gymnasiums for his work-outs? What 'locker-room' thing? What 'baths'? "I would have thought you were an expert in Physical Fitness. You certainly look the part - Ack!" Drakken had _NOT_ meant to say that! "I mean - I mean - I mean..."

But Ron only smiled, "Calm down, Doc. Deeeeep breaths... There ya go. You gonna be okay now?"

Drakken rolled his eyes at the other end of the line. _I am SUCH a... what do the kids – the younger generation, that is – say... DORK? Yes, I believe that's it. DORK! Might as well cut this fiasco off right now..._

"I'll be fine... Ron. And... thanks for... well, sorry we..." _DAMMIT! _

Ron could sense the Doctor's frustration. It was... sweet. He took a deep breath himself. "Got anymore plans for taking over the world I should know about?"

Drakken sighed. So it was going to be back to that, was it? "No, Ron, not at this time." He'd winced after he'd said Ron's name. It suddenly seemed like it was slightly too... familiar...

"Good. So, you wouldn't mind showing me around your lab for awhile, then?"

"Ack!..."

"Doc?"

"..."

"Doctor Drakken?"

"NO! NO, THAT WOULD BE FINE! THAT IS... uh, that is to say... yes... yes, I believe I can arrange that..."

"Pick me up at seven?" This was actually SO much easier than Ron had thought it would be. He had only to get used to being on the other end of the relationship from what he'd always assumed was _his_ end.

"Seven?"

"O'clock, Doc. Seven o'clock. PM."

"Oh! Yes, of course, seven o'clock. Post-Meridian. Yes."

"Great! See ya then. Oh, and... could you just drive a _car_, please? I don't want to scare the neighbors.

"A car? A CAR! Yes, I'll bring a car. Right."

Ron chuckled to himself. So _this_ is how it felt! "Okay. Bye, Drak."

"Goodbye, Ron." Drakken hung up the phone after four attempts to find it's cradle without looking. "_Drak"?_

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"He's WHAT!" Kim cried.

"Picking me up at seven. Gonna show me around his lab. He _does_ come up with some cool -"

"You have a DATE with Dr. Drakken?" Kim squeezed all the filling out of her naco.

Rufus also chimed in, "'ate!"

" 'Date'? Well, no... c'mon, KP, it's not a -"

"He's picking up in _his_ car?"

"Well, yeah, but -"

"Taking you to _his_ lair?"

"That's where his lab -"

"To show you _his_ work?"

"That's what I -"

"Ron... Ron" Kim sighed. "Okay, here's the clincher: do you expect him to _feed you_?"

" 'eed you?" Rufus repeated for effect.

Ron looked down at his little pink buddy. "Who feeds _you_, Rufus?"

Rufus crossed his tiny arms over his chest and frowned.

Ron turned back to Kim, "Well, yeah, I guess. Hadn't really thought about it..."

"It's a DATE, Ron! You have a DATE with Dr. Drakken!"

" 'octor 'akken!" It's hard to make consonant sounds when your front teeth are as long as your whole head.

The boy thought about it. Well, maybe it _was_ a "date". So what? None of her business, anyway. He munched down on his Grande Deluxe Nacherito while he thought about it.

Kim, on the other hand, had lost her appetite. He looked at him a little sorrowfully.

"Look, Ron. I know I haven't... haven't been much of a 'girlfriend'. It's just... I have all these _things_ to do, y'know? I just never have time, uh, for... uhm... Ya wanna go watch a movie? 'Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist' is playing... Ya wanna go?"

Ron looked up from his food at her, "KP... what are you doing?"

"I'm asking you on a date, Ron. C'mon. You'd rather go with me than... than a man old enough to be your _father_, wouldn't you?"

"'fadder!" Rufus emphasized. Ron looked down at the rat with narrowed eyes, and Rufus cowered, covering his head with his front paws like a dog.

Kim Possible was asking _him_ for a date. After fourteen years. And only because he already had a "date" with Dr. Drakken. This was a fine kettle of tortilla chips! Besides, Kim was...

"You think about what I said about Shego any more?" he asked to see her reaction. Kim turned beet-red and looked away. _Answers that question, _he thought.

"I don't know what you're talking about." It _such_ the Flimsy Excuse, but it was all she had.

"Yeah. Okay" he said, actually feeling a little sorry for her, "Sorry. No, I have a 'date' with Drakken. Maybe some other time."

Without looking back at him, she said, "I can do better. As a girlfriend, I mean. We could -"

"Look, KP... Kim. I don't think you want me for a boyfriend. Maybe you don't want a boyfriend _at all_, I don't know. But... I feel weird saying this... can't we just be friends? Buddies? Like we were in grade-school?"

In all her life, it had never occurred to Kim that Ron might reject an advance from her. They were on new, unfamiliar ground, now. Or at least, she was. She took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out – a maximally heavy sigh.

"So... uh... you mean it? Are you... are you... y'know..."

He did know, but waited for her to say it anyway.

"... uh... you like... I mean... so..."

_Oh for cryin' out loud,_ Ron thought " 'Are you gay.' Come on KP... Say it, already!"

"Well, are you?"

"You really can't say it?" he asked.

She pretended to look at her food.

"Fine. I always knew you were kind of a prude, but geez, you really _are_ straight out of Disney, aren'tcha?" He paused, "Maybe. Okay? I dunno. But at least_ I'm_ willing to... try things." It was his turn for a Max Sigh, "Alright, Kim. _Probably_. All I know is that I think he's cool, in some strange way, and I liked talking with him, and yes, I think he's cute. It's not just the ponytail, either. Gawd, that suit he was wearing was -"

"How could you not know?" Kim asked, honestly not understanding.

He looked at her and actually felt pity. He choked back the smart-ass reply he had ready to fire at her - something to make_ her_ as uncomfortable as she was making him -and said, "Nevermind. Look, I have a date in three hours. A DATE!" He looked at Rufus, "You got anything to say, little buddy?" The naked mole rat shrugged. "Anyway, I gotta get some stuff ready, figure out what I'm gonna wear... and I'm thinking I should pobably take some emergency-groceries. I bet he doesn't even know what 'chutney' is. So I gotta go. You gonna be okay?"

"I'll be okay, Ron." She looked back up at him, finally accepting the situation. "So, what_ are_ you going to wear?"

He hadn't actually thought about it, only having just now realized that he was, in fact, going on a "date".

"Oh, well... a clean version of what I'm wearing now? You... you think I need to dress up?"

Kim rolled her eyes and started scooting out from the booth, "Okay, c'mon, 'buddy'. I can see I've got work to do here."

Kim Possible was going to help Ron Stoppable prepare for a date with Dr. Drakken. What kind of Alternate Universe_ was_ this?

"You serious?"

"No offense, Ron, but you_ need_ help in this department. I'm no Monique, but I think I can fix you up for this."

"KP, you're way cooler than I thought!"

"Thanks. Buddy."

" 'uddy!" Even Rufus agreed.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

"Oh, whew! What IS that stuff?" Kim asked. She was going through his closet and drawers, laying out possible articles of clothing, while he'd showered.

"Old Spice. Like it?"

"You only put it on your face, right?"

"Well, yeah..."

"Good. Go wash your face. With soap. I'll see if I can find something less... revolting."

He did, and she did.

"But that's _women's_ stuff!" Ron complained.

"It's _musk_, Ron. It doesn't matter. Now, you put it on like this" she demonstrated on herself, "not by the bottle-full. Got it?"

"I think I can figure it out now, KP." He was getting a little tired of being told how to behave in the bathroom.

"Right. Now for the clothes. Oh, and those boxers have _got_ to go!"

"But -"

"GOT to GO, Ron! Trust me on this. They're not gonna work under what you'll be wearing."

"And the reason is?" he asked suspiciously.

"Too tight. The legs will bunch up and show under your jeans. Are you going to trust me on these things or what? 'Cause I can just go -"

"Okay okay, Kim. This is just kinna weird for me, is all. It's like being dressed by my Mom."

"Oh! You take that back RIGHT NOW, Ron Stoppable!" Kim cried.

_Sounds a little like her too... _he thought. "Okay, I take it back. So, what will I be wearing, then?"

Kim stopped glaring at him and looked out the window. This was going to be the hard part.

"Well, I've been thinking about it... uh... Ron? Is part of the attraction that he _is_ older?" she asked cautiously, hoping she wouldn't say something wrong.

Ron seem non-plussed as he answered, "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Why?"

"So... you think maybe part of _his_ attraction to _you_ is that you're... younger?" SO the Dangerous Ground!

"I'd imagine, yeah..." Ron was _still_ unconcerned about the implications. _I don't get it,_ Kim thought, _How can he just be so... casual... about it?_

"Okaaaay... so I think we need to – uh... Wait a minute. Ron, I have to ask: doesn't that _bother_ you at all? That he's attracted to you because you're so much younger? Don't you think there's something _wrong_ with that? I'm sorry to be like this... but I'm getting creeped out here."

Ron sat on the bed in his boxers and bathrobe, leaning back against the headboard. "Y'know what? It did, at first. Yeah. You're thinking he's a pedophile, right? 'Lover of Children', from the Greek. I looked it up. But I don't think I'm a 'child', Kim. Do you think you're a 'child'? A 'kid'? And if it weren't for the _talking_ we did, in the Egyptian Gallery, on the phone... Kim, I get the feeling he likes _me_, too. I don't know why. He probably doesn't understand why I'd like him, either. And as for the attraction, well... I can live with that. In fact, I don't really care _why_ he thinks I'm cute – as long as he does. So no, I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with that. Now, if he were hitting on a 14-year-old, then yeah. But me? No. And I know it's creepy. That actually makes it kinna fun!"

Kim watched him closely, trying to gauge whether he was pulling her leg or not. He seemed sincere... his argument was rational... and no, she did _not_ think of herself as a 'kid'.

But she did think of Ron as one. _I can't help it! Maybe I'm wrong... and I DO mean "maybe", but I can't help it! He's just so... adorable, like a kid!_ The thought that Ron was "adorable", however brought up that _other_ question in her mind: _So... if I think he's "adorable", how come I never... did anything... about it... This is making my head hurt._

"Yeah. Well, okay, Ron. Uhm... what I was going to say was that we... I mean _you_, need to capitalize on that. Make the most of it. Wear 'young' stuff."

"Short-pants and a sailor shirt?" Ron looked at her slyly.

"Without being a perv. Now, Dr. Drakken KNOWS you liked his suit – you said so at dinner that time. Several times. But I can only guess at what HE likes, and I'm guessing... well..." She didn't really know if there was even a word for it.

"Twink."

"Excuse me?"

Ron chuckled. "Twink. Google for it. Wonderful thing, the Internet. So much to learn!" Now he laughed out loud.

Kim tried to ignore what she didn't understand, "So, I think these jeans, and maybe just a white tee..."

"... and a utility belt, maybe a hard-hat?" Ron offered.

"Huh?"

Chuckling yet again, he said, "You're going for Construction Worker... Kim, I think you might be a little out of your element here." He got up and picked a different, not-so-faded pair of black jeans, and a black tee-shirt. Then he found a red-and-black striped dress shirt and put it on top of the ensemble.

"Well?"

Actually, it was rather... elegant. Simple, yet refined. It worked.

"I'm impressed. I really am. I never knew you... well, I guess there was a lot I never knew." _Don't think about it, Kim_, she thought. "Anyway, what about shoes?"

"What _about_ shoes?"

"Men. You never even notice shoes! Gawd! You aren't going to wear your usual basket-ball sneakers, are -"

While she was talking, he picked a Sunday-new pair of dark-brown deck-shoes from the top of his closet.

"... you... Touche', Ron. You didn't need my help at all, did you..."

"It was fun, KP. I'm sorry."

She smiled, actually forgetting the "creepiness", her discomfort, her sorrow for having ignored him for so many years. It _had_ been fun.

"You are _such_ the tease! Drakken is gonna be in _so much_ trouble!" she laughed.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP


	5. Chapter 5: Big Date

"You are _such_ the tease! Drakken is gonna be in _so much_ trouble!" she laughed.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Ron was waiting on the step as Drakken drove up in a green and black corvette. He threw his backpack in the backseat and climbed in the front.

"Wow. New suit?" he said, looking over at the rather flustered and almost-scowling scientist.

"Yes. And you're looking... good, too... Now see here, Ron... This isn't... I don't want... that is... What's in the backpack?"

"Stuff."

Drakken sighed. "As an Evil Villain bringing my Arch-Nemesis to my personal Secret Lair, I think I deserve to know: what is in the backpack?"

"First of all, Drak, your Lair's are never all that secret. And Second:... well, this isn't an official thing, okay? This... I mean, we're both off-duty. Anything I see or hear will not make it back to Kim or the GJ, I promise. No cheating on that. Nothing goes further than just between us, okay?"

The blue man's scowl softened. "You'll swear to that?"

"I do. I swear it. Tonight isn't a part of all that stuff. I'm not even bringing my Kimmunicator. What's in the pack is... stuff I might need. Can we leave it at that?"

"Well... it still makes me nervous. Here, put on this blindfold."

"Little early in the evening for that, ain't it Doc?"

The scowl returned.

"Okay okay, Doc. I'm just pulling your chain. Chill. I'll put on the blindfold. Here. Okay? So, I'm guessing this is NOT your car?"

"Shego's" the Doctor said simply.

"Duh. I hope you -"

"I have permission, yes. I seldom drive, you see... I usually take the hovercraft."

Drakken pulled off – quite carefully – and drove away.

"So, Drak. Can I ask you a personal question?"

"I suppose..." he said with more than a little trepidation.

"Well, I was just wondering... hovercrafts and 'arachnoids' and Lairs an' all... must cost a LOT of dough. How do you afford it? I mean, where does your money come from? Look, if it's personal, you don't have to answer. I'm just curious."

Silence.

"Right. So I take it IS personal, then... never mind. I LOVE your suit! Like Dick Tracey! It's so -"

"Actually, Ron, I'd like to tell you where my money comes from. The fact is, I'm fairly dying to tell some one. But... that is... you're SURE nothing I tell you will end up with the GJ?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die" Ron said smiling.

"This is serious, Ron. If the GJ knew, they could take it away from me. Make it impossible for me to continue with my work. Which is what Team Possible is all about, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But I'm not 'Team Possible'. Like I said, tonight, I'm just 'Ron'. NOTHING goes any farther, and I expect the same from you, by the way."

"Yes... but you have less to lose..."

"I'm sitting here in Shego's car, with you, wearing a blindfold. And frankly, I'm not worried about it. I trust you, Doc. Return the favor."

Drakken thought about that. Given his past treatment of the Sidekick, he WAS taking a chance...

"Do you like doughnuts, Ron?"

"Love 'em! Are we gonna -"

"Have you ever had any from a coffee-shop named after a certain famous Canadian hockey player?"

"Sure! They're the best dough - No. No no no... No. You? You own a franchise of -"

"Please, Ron. I AM the franchise. I own ALL of them. No pesky investors for me, no Board to please, no profits to split. Yes, Ron. It's me. Gah! I'm SO relieved to be able to TELL someone! You wouldn't believe... how hard it's been..."

Ron turned his head toward the Dr, even though he was blindfolded. He was impressed beyond words. Dr. Drakken owned... was...

_Dr. Drakken, I think I LOVE you!_ He almost said it too, thinking better of it at the last second. Might be taken out of context, after all. "Well, I gotta tell ya, you just impressed the pants off – uh, I mean, the hell out of – me. I'd have NEVER guessed!"_ Geez, Ron, get a grip. He's a successful businessman. Calm down. But... doughnuts!_ "Aaaaah, THAT explains the Coco-Moo..."

"Yes. But I'm not sure I can base a whole retail facility on just Coco-Moo... so I suppose it will just end up going into the doughnut shops, instead. People are more interested in coffee than chocolate. I frankly would like to set them straight. Perhaps when I'm running the world..."

"Oh, like that'll ever happen" Ron teased.

"It might, Ron" Drakken looked askance at the blindfolded blonde boy. _Guy! Blonde GUY! Get a grip, Drew!_ "I have some good ideas in mind..."

"Okay, no shop-talk. I'll take your word for it. But tell me, Drak... let's say you do it, one of these days; you Take Over the World. What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm glad you asked. First, network television will be banned. Every channel – cable too – will be PBS. And Channel One will be Masterpiece Theatre, 24 hours a day, seven days a week."

Ron had to chuckle at that, "Whoa! You ARE evil!"

"Laugh all you want. It's at the top of my list. Next, all advertising executives will be shot-on-sight. That should improve the world beyond measure."

"How about lawyers?"

"Lawyers? Well, people get what they ask for, with Lawyers. I doubt I could re-train human nature enough to do away with Lawyers."

"Pretty deep, Doc..." Ron said, impressed again, in a different way.

"Surprised? Not just the goofy Doctor after all? I AM a genius, you know." Drakken said, holding his nose slightly high in the air.

Ron began to giggle, but didn't speak.

"What?" Drakken asked, irked.

" 'Explode-oh-Ray'. That's what. Your 'genius' sorta comes and goes, doesn't it..."

Drakken frowned, but then smiled as he thought about it. "I suppose it does, at that."

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Ron rolled his eyes. The Doctor was rambling on, AGAIN, "... so you see, no one had ever thought that the e-field, when out of phase with the m-field by _exactly_ pi-over-an irrational number, would cause -"

"Doc."

".. the resulting composite force -"

"Doc!"

"... to... uh... I'm doing it again?"

"You're doing it again. High School, remember?"

"Oh. Yes... I do apologize, Ron. I'm afraid I'm getting quite caught in... in being able to TALK to someone about these things, that I forget..."

"Y'know, Doc, if you want recognition for your work, there ARE legit ways. Like, publishing? Ever hear of it?"

Drakken smirked, "Yes, I know... what YOU don't know is that I've been that route. It's part of why I became Evil in the first place. The journals are number four on my list."

"Ah. Listen, I wanna see more, especially the robots and stuff, but... you got a bathroom around here?" Ron said, looking around.

"Right through there. It'll be the door marked "Danger: Explosives."

Ron looked at him sideways. "Okaaaaay... back in a bit."

The Doctor watched him leave. Intently. "Oh, Ron! Something to drink?"

"Soda'd be nice" he yelled over his shoulder.

"Orange, brown, clear, yellow -"

"Surprise me!" Ron entered the hallway. To his left, a heavy steel door displayed the appropriate emblem.

"Pssst." He thought he heard something, but there were lots of strange noises in Drakken's Lair.

"Psssst!" He heard it again, and stopped, looking down the hall.

"Oh, fer – PSSSST!" Behind him, a door was cracked open, and he could see part of Shego's green face looking at him. Instinct made him prepare for a fight.

"Cut it out," she said, "and get the hell in here! Hurry!"

Now, THAT was a Bad Idea, to da max. "I don't think so, Shego. You come out here."

"Doy. Fine!" She opened the door and stood there in her Lara Croft outfit: mid-thigh but TIGHT black shorts, equally TIGHT green spandex top, and hiking boots. She walked right by him as his mouth hung open, grabbing the collar of his tee-shirt to drag him into the bathroom.

She let go of him and waited for him close his mouth.

Eventually, he did. "Well, like it?" She turned around to show him – so to speak – the whole thing.

"Uh... well... it's different..." he said uncertainly. Why was she... Shego... asking him if he liked her new outfit?

"Look, Stoppable. I need to ask you something" she said. Ron thought, _No smirk. No smart-alec remarks. What's going on here?_

"Yeah? Well... go ahead."

Shego looked any where but at Ron. "You... you told Dr. D that... well, that you thought Kim... uhm... had noticed me?"

_Ah. So THAT's it! _

"Yeah..."

She sighed, finally looking into his eyes, "Don't make me beat this out of you, sidekick. 'Cause I will, if I have to."

He held his ground and said nothing. Shego walked up to him threateningly. But Ron still didn't budge.

She turned and walked over to the mirror instead. "Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Old habits, y'know? Uhm... didn't mean it." Dropping her Dangerous Bitch act, she turned to face him honestly, "So, do you think she'd be interested? In me, I mean. Like that, I mean? Like you're interested in... uh..."

He let her off the hook, despite how tempting it was to play her anxiety out longer by pretending not to know what she meant. "It's hard to say, Shego. I'm not trying to be vague or anything here... it's not exactly something she talks to me about, y'know? I doubt she talks to any one about it."

"Doy! You're all so... so Brady Bunch! Dammit! It's just disgusting!"

"Actually, I'M 'Brady Bunch'. Kim is more... well, Mayberry RFD, in black-and-white. You getting my meaning?"

"She is? That bad?"

"I'm afraid so. I asked her if she'd thought about you today, and she turned redder than I'd ever seen her. So take that for what it's worth."

"She did?"

"Stop asking me if I've said the thing I've just said" It was kind of fun, teasing HER for a change, "Yeah, she did. Red as... uh... well, really, really red."

Shego looked off into space as she imagined it.

Ron brought her back to earth, "That why the new outfit?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Think she'll like it?"

"I really don't know, Shego. Sorry."

"Oh. Well... that's okay... But, I mean, besides being so deep in the closet she collects dust-bunnies, is she... I mean, do you think she..."

"Yes. Almost definitely. But I'd take it _very_ slowly, if I were you. Right after I asked her about you, she asked ME for a date. I think it scared her back in, if you know what I mean. So... just be careful."

"Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I owe ya one, Stoppable."

"Then call me 'Ron'."

She looked at him wryly, "Okay, _Ron_, but now we're even."

"Would you get out of here so I can pee?" he said in exasperation.

Her smirk came back, but she left without any remark.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

After nearly two hours, at nine at night, Ron was getting hungry.

"No no... you can't turn it's whole body, you have to twist the torso if -"

"Doc. I'm starving here. What's for dinner?"

"Ack!"

"... You DID... didn't you?"

"..."

"Doc..."

"I apologize, Ron. I DEEPLY apologize. I... it never occurred to me... I didn't know how long..."

"Okay, Drak. I'll handle it. Now you get to find out what was in my backpack. Lead me to the kitchen, if you please."

"You... the kitchen? Your backpack?"

He looked at the Doctor from the corners of his eyes. "Yeah. I can cook. But I don't dress hair. So the stereotype ends there, got it?"

Drakken actually blushed, "NO! No, I never thought, that is, I meant -"

Ron chuckled – he really was having SUCH fun! "Calm down... I'm just teasin' ya. Now, where's the kitchen?"

The scientist sighed, "Yes. You seem to have a talent for that, Ron." He didn't sound happy about it. Ron suddenly felt guilty. Maybe his teasing had been a little... too close to home, for the Doctor.

"Uh... yeah. Look... Drak. I shouldn't have said that. It's just that..." How to put it? Should he tell the Doctor that being with him made him feel like a schoolgirl? When, after all, he WAS a "schoolboy"? Would that be appropriate? Because that's how he was acting, he suddenly realized. Just like the girls acted with him, when he had one of his VERY rare dates. Except that this time, Dr. Drakken was taking the "awkward schoolboy" part of the deal. _Oh my god. He is. I'm treating him just like they treat me. And he's reacting the same way I do. Sort of. Anyway, I bet he feels the same way I do, when they tease me... Gawd, Ron! You are SUCH the conceited BITCH!_

"Uh... I'm sorry. Really. Let me make it up to ya: let me fix you dinner. I really am pretty good at it."

"It's getting pretty late, actually..." Drakken started.

"DRAK! I'M MAKING YOU DINNER! WHERE IS THE KITCHEN?" Ron shouted, louder than he'd intended. He was NOT going to end this NOW, like THAT. He knew EXACTLY what that was like!

Drakken suddenly looked very, very awake. Ron had surprised him. In truth, Ron had been surprising him all evening, in one way or another – almost all of them absolutely charming – but this was different. Apparently, the boy – the GUY – had some strong feelings, too. The Dr. didn't know, or really wonder, what those feelings WERE, he was just amazed that they seemed so powerful.

"Well, you take that hallway... Uhm, I mean to say, follow me."

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"My, that really does smell delicious! What is it?"

"Spinach brioche. French. I can't believe you had actual lard on hand. You... uh, cook, Doc?"

"Only pastries. Why do you think I became a doughnut baron? Doughnuts and Coco-Moo: my specialties."

"Ah, the wonders of processed, bleached flour, refined animal fat, and cane sugar, eh? All a body needs." Ron smirked.

"Indeed. Sometimes I really do feel like a 'pusher', but then I think 'I don't MAKE them eat it'."

"You ever give away free samples?" Ron asked jokingly.

"Of course."

"Yup, you're a pusher all right. You are really SO much more Evil than I'd ever thought, Drak. And in ways more subtle, too."

"Why... why thank you, Ron! I appreciate that!"

Ron smiled at the seated Doctor watching him. "No prob, Doc." Drakken's heart nearly stopped, seeing that smile. At least, that's what it felt like, but he didn't really care. He swallowed, hard. He needed a drink.

"I'm going to make us some drinks. Yours will -"

"Trying to get me drunk, are -"

"Stop, Ron. I was ABOUT to say, 'yours will be non-alcoholic, of course'." Drakken was back to scowling again.

Ron felt like shit. "Aw geez, I did it again! DAMMIT! I'm sorry, okay? I... it's just that.."

Perhaps because the Doctor had been so high only moments before, the crash now was all that much more painful. "Sit down, Ron. We need to talk" the Doctor said seriously.

"But... I have pastry in the oven..."

Being a fellow pastry-chef, of sorts, Drakken could sympathize. "Then turn it down, and sit."

"But, it's fillo-dough, and -"

"SIT, RON!"

Ron stared at him a moment, then turned the oven down and took a seat opposite Drakken.

"Okay, I'm sitting."

The Doctor only stared at the table in between them.

"Look, Doc... Drak. It's just that I'm really having a good time and I'm... getting carried away with it, is all. I said I was sorry. I really don't understand why you're so sensitive about -"

"Yes, that's the problem, don't you see? You DON'T understand! And for my part... I... I didn't really know what to expect from this... this..."

"Date" Ron interrupted.

Drakken looked up at him now, "This date. I'm not sure what I even want from it. No, that's not true. I'm lying" Dr. Drakken leaned back in his chair, slouching un-characteristically, "I DO know what I want. Perhaps I just don't think I should get it."

Not wanting to say anything stupid in reply to what was obviously a Deep Thought of Drakken's, Ron stayed silent.

They were both quiet for several minutes: trying to figure out what one of them had just said.

Finally, Ron had to do SOMEthing to break the tension, "So... I know the problem isn't that I'm a guy... I suppose it's that I'm a high-school guy, then..."

Drakken looked into his eyes, "You know what I remember about being sixteen, Ron?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Not one thing. I KNOW certain things happened. I KNOW I was sixteen when I got my first driver's license... I remember the test. But nothing else. I don't remember how I felt about things, I don't even remember any of my friends from that time particularly well. It's hard to say, really... trying to pin down memories to what age I was when they happened. The point is... the point is, I guess, it wasn't recently. It was a LONG time ago for me."

"So?"

Drakken looked back down. "So, Ron, I think... I think I should just take you home now. Your parents are probably worried about you. Afraid you've been picked up by some dirty old man, perhaps. I think we should just end this... fiasco." He started to get up from his chair.

But Ron wasn't moving.

"Come on, Ron. Let's go. We'll get some hamburgers on the way, if you're hungry."

"You think I'm a child?" Ron said flatly.

"No. Well... in a way... in any case, you're not an adult. I am. So I'm supposed to know better. Now -"

"So... you want to call this off, because you're older and wiser, is that it? You know better. Doesn't matter what I think. Sound right?" Ron was beginning to get angry. What Drakken was telling him – however obtusely – was insulting.

"Basically. Yes."

The teenager let it simmer in his brain awhile, as he sat stone-faced, with his arms crossed.

"Y'know, Doc. There WAS a time when 16 would have been considered 'middle-age'."

"Yes, well... that was rather long ago. A lot of things were different, then. Especially 'childhood', I'd think."

"Half-point to you" Ron admitted, "But there are STILL cultures where 14 is 'marry and start having kids' age."

"Not OUR culture, Ron. But I am seeing..."

"... and biologically, which seems like it -"

"Ron! Don't. Look, the thing is, five years from now, you'll -"

Ron jumped out of his chair, "Whoa! Whoa-Whoa-Whoa there, Doc! FIVE YEARS? You're gonna try to guess what things are going to be like in FIVE YEARS? Uh... no offense, Drak, but could we... restrict ourselves to, like, TONIGHT, and MAYBE tomorrow? I wasn't thinking 'five years down the road', Doc! Geez!"

_The boy – the GUY – RON! - is right about that. Why did I even say that? Was I hoping this would last five years? And if so, is that justified? Certainly not. But he doesn't realize how short five years really is. To him, it's like a quarter of his life._

"Five years is a lot longer to you than it is to me, Ron. That's what you don't understand."

"Yeah, okay. I can see how that could be... but... that's important, why?"

"Well... you see... uhm..."

Ron had him. Dr. Drakken was resting his argument – or his fear, whatever – on a point that, while certainly valid, wasn't really relevant to the matter at hand. Like many such statements, it was a good sound-byte - the kind that just SOUNDS so simple, logical, and clever, that no one really thinks about it. The most dangerous kind.

"Let's get back to NOW, okay?" Ron said, "I like you, Doc. _Like_ like. You like me?"

Drakken took his time. Ron really was an extraordinary... person... "Yes. I do."

"_Like_ like?"

He had to smile at that, touchy as it was, "Yes, _like_ like, Ron. You knew that."

"Well, I wanted to hear you say it. Get it out in the open. There's been a lot of... camouflage... going on here. Okay. Well, _I_ think I'm old enough to make up my own mind about this, what do _you_ think?" Ron asked.

"I'm beginning to believe you may be right" Drakken answered.

Ron sat back in his chair, his anger subsiding. He could understand, kind of, why the older man had qualms. But maybe it was over now. If not, he could always kick the Doctor's ass. Maybe _that_ would prove something. "Still gonna take me home?"

"Perhaps not just yet."

"Well, then maybe you'd _like_ a spinach brioche. If they're not too destroyed by now."

"I'll make those drinks" Drakken said, so relieved he actually felt giddy. "But after dinner, as it were, I'm taking you home."

Ron thought of asking "how come?" or telling him "you really don't HAVE to, you know", but perhaps they'd had enough Drama for one date. A first date. He smiled to himself. _Don't wanna go getting a reputation as 'easy', do we... Do we? Bad Ron! Bad Bad Ron! _"Okay, Doc. After dinner."

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	6. Chapter 6: Kiss Kiss

Ron thought of asking "how come?" or telling him "you really don't HAVE to, you know", but perhaps they'd had enough Drama for one date. A first date. He smiled to himself. _Don't wanna go getting a reputation as 'easy', do we... Do we? Bad Ron! Bad Bad Ron! _"Okay, Doc. After dinner."

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"Yeah! And you've already got all the expertise and equipment... and suppliers an' stuff, so it'd be like, no sweat! All you need to do is be sure and put in words like 'spinach' and 'broccoli' and boo-yah! Everyone will think it's 'healthy' – never mind the veggies are swimming in cheese-sauce and the bread is made with _serious_ amounts of lard..."

"Ron?"

"... you know how people are. It could work! It'd be like the TGIFridays of French food! You'd get the upscale crowd – or people who want to look that way – and..."

"RON!" Drakken finally shouted.

"... you could charge the upscale prices... uh... yeah?"

"We're here, Ron. This is your house."

Ron looked around. This WAS his house! "Uh... how long... when did we get here?"

Drakken grinned at him, "About fifteen minutes. I didn't want to stop you, you were on a roll. So to speak."

The young man furrowed his brow at the scientist in mock anger, "You LET me ramble on like that, didn't you?"

"I did. But not JUST for fun. I think you may have a really good idea, there. It's a fairly open market. Most French restaurants are TOO 'upscale' for most people to afford... yours could be different."

"Mine? Uh, I was thinking -"

"Well, whatever you were thinking, you can be sure I will look into it, Ron. You'd be surprised how much money it takes just TRYING to take over the world."

Ron looked a little uneasy at this thought, "Yeah... well... maybe we'll talk about that next time, Drak. So... I guess I'll be seeing you later?"

Drakken chuckled, "I'd say that was distinct possibility. Oh! Before I forget -" he fished around in his coat pocket, "Here's my card with my _personal_ number, so you can call me, should you feel the... need. I hope I don't have to say -"

"Yeah yeah, Doc, it's a secret. Like the location of your Lair. Okay. Well, g'nite, Doc."

"Good night, Ron. Sleep well."

Ron got out of the car and started to cross the street to his house. After passing in front of Drakken's borrowed Corvette, and as the Doctor was beginning to pull away, he shouted, "DRAK! HOLD UP!"

Drakken stopped the car, wondering what was the matter. Ron came over to his side and reached in the back, behind Drakken's seat. "Forgot my backpack" he said. He stooped back down to look in at the driver.

"Very well, Ron. Well, good – umpth!" Was as far as he got before Ron's mouth closed on his. Ron's eyes were closed. Drakken's, on the other hand, were VERY wide. He hadn't expected this. Things had been going so well, they had actually achieved a level of comfort with each other even greater than before dinner. Well, all that was gone now. With Ron's unexpected kiss, all the discomfort returned, in force: desire, hesitancy about the desire, shame about the desire, warmth from the desire... sweetness of the desire... abandonment to the desire...

Drakken's eyes closed very slowly, without him even realizing it, and he reached up to touch Ron's face with one hand, then the other. Ron wasn't stopping. Ron wasn't going anywhere. He never engaged his tongue in the kiss, but only swapped Drakken's lower lip for the upper one, then back to the lower... upper... lower...

When they finally parted, both of their eyes still closed, both of them breathing heavily, it took them a moment to realize just what had happened. They both blushed as soon as they opened their eyes: pink under blue, pink under freckles. Ron squatted by the door, his head still at window height, and just stared for awhile at the Doctor staring back into his eyes.

There really wasn't much to say.

"G'nite, Drak."

"Good night, Ron."

And Ron finally turned to go home. After what seemed to Drakken to be HOURS later, really only a dozen seconds, he drove away.

Kim was waiting hidden behind a bush by the side gate. She _marched_, literally, up to Ron as he neared the front porch, pointing a finger at him.

"You were KISSING Drakken!" she accused, "YOU were kissing... DRAKKEN! You WERE kissing Drakken! You were kissing DRAKKEN!"

Ron sat on the steps. This might take awhile.

"YOU WERE kissing Drakken! You WERE KISSING Drakken! You were KISSING -"

"Shego says hi, KP."

"DRAK – what?"

"Shego. She says 'hi' " he repeated.

"Shego?" even in the dark, he could tell she was turning red, "Says hi? Oh... well... uh, yeah... 'hi' back... I guess..."

"She got a new outfit. Wanted to know if I thought you'd like it."

"A new... outfit?"

"Yeah. Kind of... Safari Girl type of thing, I guess. Hiking boots and all. Sort of a sexy Indiana Jones look. Pretty cute, I thought."

"Ron! YOU were KISSING -"

"Did you hear me, KP? She wanted to know if I thought YOU would like it. What's your opinion of sprayed-on tank-tops and shorts?"

"I... uh... SPRAYED-on?"

"Yeah. Y'know. Like, really, REALLY tight spandex. And obviously no bra, either, as far as I could tell. I swear, her nipples were -"

"RON!"

He smiled. At least it was different from 'you were kissing Drakken'... "Well, they were. Just sayin', is all."

"Yeah, well... I don't... I don't need to hear that... You just keep your perverted fantasies to yourself!"

He sighed. SO Mayberry. "Yeah, KP. I'll do that." He got up and fished his keys out of his pocket, "Well, I'm goin' ta bed now, Kim. G'nite."

Kim stood there in utter confusion, watching him unlock the door and open it. "Ron!"

He turned around, "Yeah?"

"Uh... you were kissing..."

"Drakken. Yeah. Liked it, too. See ya later, KP."

Kim remained standing there looking at the closed door for three minutes, her mind refusing to believe that was all there was to it. As she walked home, she tried NOT to think of "sprayed-on spandex" and Shego's nipples.

She had about as much success as you are right now.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

"Ron! You go after Drakken, I'll try to shut this thing off, and hold off Shego, if – when – she shows up!"

The usual situation. "Right, KP!" Ron turned to run down a darkened hallway, the way the Dr. had gone.

Kim had second thoughts this time though... "And Ron?"

He stopped and turned around, "Yeah?"

"TRY to actually capture him, okay? I mean, they ARE breaking the law, here..."

Ron looked at the diabolical machine Kim was about to try and shut off. It was obviously a cookie-dough extruder, despite the "Warning!" and "Danger!" stickers on it. What would eventually show up on the sinister-looking conveyor-belt would probably some kind of cookie. But he didn't say anything, and forced himself not to smile until he'd turned his back to Kim again. "Don't worry about it, KP. Business before pleasure, I always say!"

That didn't actually relieve Kim's suspicion much. She went to the machine, looking for the always-to-be-found self-destruct button. She wished there was more light in the room...

And suddenly, there was. Kim whirled to see who had turned them on.

"Shego! It's... you?" Kim had been wondering if this was going to happen. Safari-Girl. Kim wasn't familiar with "Tomb Raider", so didn't know where the outfit came from, but she HAD been imagining it, even as she'd tried not to. Especially last night, in bed. She cursed herself for being so... dirty. Kim Possible? Dirty? That just HAD to be wrong!

Shego went into her fighting stance, lighting up her hands – sans gloves – in the process. She waited for Kim to come to her.

And Kim did, acting the part she'd done so many times before, as a way to divert her own mind. She charged Shego, but Shego stood her ground, un-moving. Kim stopped directly in front of the other girl and swung the most half-hearted right-cross in the history of pugilism. Shego merely pulled her head back an inch to avoid it. No combination, no more swings, and Kim wasn't trying to get into position to use her legs, either.

Shego stared at the bewildered red-head, "What the hell was that?" she asked, with an expression of "is something _wrong_ with you?"

But Kim didn't know. She was trying NOT to see, and NOT to look at Shego's glowing hands. The hands that had been so much on her mind, lately. She swallowed.

"Uh... the cops are on their way, Shego! Give up now, and... and... there won't be... any trouble..." It sounded corny even to her. But, isn't that the thing she said, at this point? Wasn't that the... way things went?

Shego could see that the poor girl was helpless, the way Kim's eyes were wandering EVERY where except on her. _Damn! I can't believe I never noticed before! Probably too busy ogling HER, you dope. Doy!_ _Look at her! Poor girl... she's got it as bad as I do! If only she'd just..._

Shego de-flamed and brought her arms down, standing relaxed in front of her nemesis. Kim only blinked, even more unsure what to do now than she had been before._ What's going ON here? What's WRONG with me?_ _And Shego... why isn't she fighting!_

Shego decided to go for broke, and turned her back on Kim, walking – and trying not to be TOO sultry about it – towards the Diabolical Device churning in the corner.

Kim looked, oh yes, she_ did_ look... but immediately panicked and looked away.

"Hmmm" Shego said, "This thing DOES look pretty menacing, doesn't it?" _Good JOB Dr. D! "_Well, Pumpkin, I sure hope it doesn't get the chance to... do whatever it does, eh?" She walked back towards Kim, still standing next to the wall, apparently paralyzed except for her wildly-darting eyes.

Shego would have walked right into Kim if the teenager hadn't backed up. But she could only back up so far... and found herself against the wall. She swallowed again, hard, too afraid to wonder if it showed.

Shego put her hands out against the wall on either side of Kim's head, trapping her there, and looked into her eyes. Kim's eyes were still darting wildly. _Poor Princess... she's scared to death! Dammit! Get OVER it, Pumpkin! _

_Maybe I can help..._

Shego closed her eyes and leaned forward, kissing Kim on the lips. It didn't last long, though.

Kim was finally terrified enough to just DO something, and it didn't matter what. She pushed Shego back, forcefully. As forcefully as she could, in fact, throwing the green villainess to the floor. "SHEGO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHY..."

Then Kim's hands went to her mouth, covering it in horror. Paralyzed again.

"Damn, Kim! That hurt! Right on my ass! Hell!" Shego said, trying to understand what had happened. Then she looked at the frozen girl still standing at the wall. This was SO not working out!

"Oh, fer cryin' out loud, Princess! You want to as much as I do! Would you just DROP the All-American Cheerleader act and... and be YOURSELF for a change?" Shego said as she got up and adjusted her outfit.

"I DO NOT WANT TO! I DON'T! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Kim screamed into her still mouth-covering hands.

Shego could see that she'd gone too far, perhaps WAY too far._ Oh, crap. Now I've done it. I should've listened to the sidekick... damn Damn DAMN! _She tried to calm herself, maybe she could salvage something from this situation...

"Look, uh, Kim. I'm sorry, okay? I thought... well, I thought... uh -"

"WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG!" Kim screamed one final time, and ran away through the open door, back the way she'd come in.

Shego just stood there, silent. The dough-extruder had just turned out it's first batch of oatmeal puffs.

"Well... poop" Shego said, "You blew that big time, Shego. Good job. Gold-star for that one. Doy! You are SUCH an idiot!" She began walking down the darkened hall looking for Ron and Drakken.

When she found them, Ron appeared to be hovering in the air – lotus position - in front of a white fedora, with his eyes closed.

In the dark hall, it was hard to see Dr. Drakken's black-on-black-on-black 100-percent cashmere suit. And his face, too, was hidden. By Ron's head. The two of them were locked in a passionate embrace, Ron holding himself up to Drakken's level by wrapping his legs around the man's waist.

Shego sighed and leaned back on the wall, bracing one foot against it, and crossing her arms over her chest. "Break it up, you two. If I can't have any fun, I don't see any reason you should, either."

Ron and Drakken broke off their kiss. Or at least, Drakken did. Ron merely continued it on the scientist's neck.

"I take it you had no luck then, Shego?" he asked, looking at her over Ron's bent head.

"You take it. Does 'running away screaming' sound like I got lucky?" she said angrily.

Ron sighed into Dr. Drakken's collar, and released his hold on his torso to stand on his own feet. "What did you do, Shego... I told you to -"

"Yeah, I know what you told me, Stoppable. 'Go slow'. Bloody hell. She was SO ready, I'm tellin' ya! She was hot-to-trot! She was... she was..."

"Scared to death" Ron finished for her.

"Well... yeah. But, I can TELL she wants it! I mean, I never noticed before, because I guess I was too busy ogling her, but... oh, to hell with it. 'Mayberry RFD, in black and white' doesn't even come CLOSE. She's positively PHOBIC! Dammit!"

"Well..." Drakken said, "not to put too fine a point on it, Shego, but you should have chased her. In fact, you should be chasing her right now, rather than wasting our time whining about it."

Shego flared at the insult, and stood facing them with intense anger on her face. "_Whining_?"

Drakken cowered, but Ron simply answered back, "Yeah, Shego. Pretty much. Whining. She couldn't have gone any further than the helicopter that brought us here. She's probably sitting inside right now, waiting on me... she won't leave without me. So, you wanna break through? Show her she can be herself around you? Then drop the Dangerous Bitch act and go talk to her."

Drakken was worried about Ron... the boy – GUY – dammit! - didn't know how Shego became when she was enraged. "Ron, I don't think you should, uh, that is -"

"S'okay, Drak. Even Shego won't hold it against someone for telling her the truth. Especially if it's the truth about herself."

Shego remained in her ready-stance, her breath heaving as she absorbed insult after insult from... from a teenage BOY! Who did he think he was!

Ron went on unbowed, "Yeah, you heard me, Shego. 'Dangerous Bitch' ACT. You think THAT is what she likes about you? I doubt it. Why don't you try exposing a little bit of yourself to her, instead? Just a little... I know you're an amateur. Try starting with 'I really like you'. See what happens."

Drakken actually got behind Ron, hoping he could ward off the attack that was now DEFINITELY coming. Shego's chest heaved up and down, and her fists clenched and unclenched unconsciously. She glared into Ron's eyes as if trying to burn through his head with her stare.

" 'I really like you'." she said, fuming. The "teenage boy" was the Best Friend of her romantic target. Who, incidentally, was a teenage girl. THAT was who he thought he was.

"Yeah. Try it, Shego. And if it doesn't work, you can come back and kick my ass. How's that?"

Shego turned and ran back down the hall without answering.

"Good. Now, as I recall, I was up _here!" _Ron said, jumping back onto Drakken.

"Yes. Uh, Ron, this is actually not that comfortable a position for me..." the Dr. said as he put his arms around Ron's back.

"Learn to love it. Besides, I think I can see my house from here!"

"Pardon?" Drakken said, not getting the joke.

"Never mind, Drak" Ron said, pressing their lips together again. This time, their tongues met.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Shego climbed in the cabin of the helicopter without saying a word, and sat in an aisle seat opposite a rather shocked Kim Possible.

"What are you doing here! Get out! Shego! This is -"

"I really like you, Kim."

" - a govermen... what?"

Shego just kept staring straight ahead. This wasn't easy for her. "You heard me."

The pilot and co-pilot looked back into the cabin from their seats. Shego raised a hand and lit up. "You guys know about this?"

They nodded.

"Good. Get out. This is private."

They unbuckled, pulled the plugs on their helmets, and left through their own doors, silently.

"Their names are Capt. Krache and Lt. Burns. They happen to be friends" Kim said, unable to think of anything else to say.

Shego continued sitting in stone-silence.

Kim stared at her arch-enemy silently. Since Shego wasn't watching her, she let her eyes roam - but only for a few seconds - then remembering herself, she snapped them forward, and sat just like Shego was.

Shego couldn't keep it up forever. She squeezed her eyes shut forcibly, reopening them with a sigh. "Are you going to say anything or not?"

Kim glanced over at her, "I... I don't know what to say... uh..."

"How about 'I like you too', for starters" _if you do. I THINK you do. THROW ME A BONE, KIMMIE!_

"Well... uh... Look... I mean..."

Finally, it WAS more than Shego could stand. She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. "All right, Princess. Just... forget about it. Let's just forget the whole, thing, okay? Stupid Drakken! 'If I can do it, so can you'! Doy! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got someone's ass to kick." She got up to leave.

"Wait! Wait..." Kim said, and Shego froze with her hand on the door frame, but didn't look back.

"I... I think... it's..."

Shego jumped out without waiting for her to finish stammering, double-timing back into the building.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP


	7. Chapter 7: Butch Babes

Shego jumped out without waiting for her to finish stammering, double-timing back into the building.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Ron pulled tighter with his legs, lifting himself up slightly to press himself into Drakken. They were both highly excited, and they could both feel each other through the material of their clothes.

It was Drakken who broke the kiss off. Ron backed off enough to be able to look into his eyes, not questioningly, just honestly. They stood there like that for a moment, breathing heavily into each other's faces.

"Doc -" Ron began, but Drakken interrupted, on purpose, fearing what might be on the verge of being said.

"Just a minute, Ron. I... I don't think I'm ready to go any further with this, yet. Please don't be angry, it's just... I need more time to think."

Ron studied the man a moment longer. "Actually, Doc, that's what I was going to say." He jumped down off the scientist's waist. "So, you'll talk to me, while you're thinking, right? And we're not going to go into the whole -"

"No, I believe we've... mostly covered that topic", Drakken sighed. There was more to discuss, but this wasn't the time for it.

"'Mostly'? There's more, then?" Ron asked, leaning back against the wall.

"Well, yes, but we don't -"

"I'm 16. Be 17 in five months. It's like both a good and bad thing, my age, isn't it... Lemme ask you one thing, Doc. Something I don't understand. What are you afraid of? That I'll change my mind and rat you out to the police? That I'll suddenly come to my senses and start screaming or something? That I'll think you're taking advantage -"

Drakken closed his eyes and actually shuddered at the word "advantage". Ron noticed.

"That's it, isn't it... You think that I'll think you're taking advantage of me... Look, Doc -"

"Yes, Ron, that IS it! And I don't mean right now. Or tomorrow, or the week after next. I mean EVER, Ron! When I think that some years from now – perhaps when you're my age, for instance – you might think back on this moment and think I _took advantage_ of you... I... I feel devastated. Absolutely devastated, Ron. To wit: I don't know what I'd do. I don't think I could handle it. Now, that said, can you stand there and ASSURE me, beyond question, that such a thought will NEVER enter your mind?"

The Dr. was staring at him intensely, waiting for an answer.

_Take your time, Ron. This is a Big Deal to him, never mind what I think of it. How can I make him believe that it's a stupid question? It's ME leading HIM on, anyway! _He took a deep breath. Drakken would wait as long as it took, he knew that. _ He'll never believe that I could answer with a "yes, I can assure you". He's a scientist. He deals in theoretical "always" and "never". Who knows what's going to happen in the future? Who knows how we'll change? I sure don't. _ He looked into the anxious Dr.'s eyes. _And... he doesn't either! No matter how old and wise and experienced and smart he may be – and I mean MAY be – he still doesn't know either!_

"Can YOU tell ME, Doc, what I'll be like in the distant future? You have a machine that does that?"

"Of course not, Ron. Don't be -"

"Sorry. Okay, I got a little angry there. No, Doc, I CAN'T tell you, for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'll NEVER think that."

"So, you see then -"

"But I CAN tell you that – from the bottom of my heart – I don't THINK I would ever think it. What else do you want from me, Doc? What more can I say?" Before Drakken could respond, he added, "I'm not gonna be 16 forever, y'know. I'll probably have to start shaving in a few years. Are YOU going to feel the same way about ME then? I may not be a 'twink' too much longer... especially in your time-frame."

That shook Drakken hard. Such things were not meant to be talked about, ever, by anyone. Dark facts of life were to be ignored and dealt with alone, in his world. Ron watched him go pale and wished he hadn't said it.

"You... you..." Drakken stammered.

But Ron took pity on him, "Look. Doc. Drak. Like I said before, let's just deal with it a day at a time, okay? I mean... we're not the first people who've ever dealt with this stuff. Everyone has to. Straight, gay, young and old, right? Just... call me if ya need to talk. And I'll call you. Deal?"

Dr. Drakken, still shaken, only stared at the young man with the freckles. Eventually he said, "You know, Ron, you show uncommon wisdom for – I mean -"

"'For someone my age'. Thanks. Beginner's luck" Ron finished he thought for him. "So much for our second date."

"Yes. I'm glad we stopped when we did, Ron. I think it was for the best for both of us."

"Oh, you bet! Besides, I never give head until the third date!" Ron said, without enough sarcasm to keep from frightening his partner, who visibly paled again. He chuckled, "Sorry, Doc. Didn't mean to scare ya. Just kiddin'."

Drakken, having recovered his breath, looked wryly at him, "I think you DID mean to do EXACTLY that, Ron..." Drakken smiled and Ron giggled as they walked back up the hall.

Where they met Shego, coming their way. "Stoppable! We had a deal. Get ready!"

"Now see here, Shego, I -" Drakken started to say.

"It's okay, Drak," Ron cut him off, "we _did_ have deal, after all." He took a stance and prepared for what would probably be a world-class beating. "Guess it didn't work, then? You said it and nothing happened?"

"Well... uh... y'see... I think... I mean... uh... uh... uh..." Shego mocked Kim's behavior. "You ready? I feel a REAL strong urge to kick ass, right now."

_As I'll ever be_, Ron thought, _At least she isn't lighting up..._

But Shego was in a peculiar mood, and did something uncharacteristically mean. She ducked, twisted under his hands, and shot an elbow backward into his groin. Then she backed off to admire her work.

Drakken winced as he saw it, as men do. That was going to _HURT!_

Ron just stood there awhile, aware of what had happened, waiting for the pain. He had the presence of mind to back up against the wall, so that at least he wouldn't fall against it. As the pain worked its way up into his pelvis, he began to slide down, his breathing growing shallow because breathing at all hurt too much. _Oh yeah. THERE it is. Oh yeah. Oh yeah..._

Shego's enjoyment was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder that flung her around, and then a fairly small but still powerful blue fist that smashed into her nose. It was so unexpected that she didn't even think to try to block it. Dr. Drakken had _HIT_ her! Dr. Drakken... had... HIT... her! Her nose bled, red on her green lips.

Now Shego lit up, ready to tear the Dr. to bits for defending his... boyfriend. His boyfriend. The words echoed in Shego's mind. His boyfriend. He was defending his boyfriend. He knew better, he knew what she could do, and he had damn near broken her nose anyway, because he was defending his boyfriend. Shego put her arms down and extinguished her plasma.

"You get that one for free, Dr. D. Don't count on it again." _If the shoe were on the other foot, I'd have done the same. If someone hurt Kim... even though she's not – and I guess never will be – my 'girlfriend'. Even if I knew I stood NO chance at all, I'd do the same thing._ She wiped her nose, smearing blood onto her forearm.

Drakken stumbled to the wall opposite Ron, bracing himself there before he fainted, because he was SO dizzy. He'd never hit Shego before, because it was a Bad Idea. He'd done it this time without even thinking about it. She'd hit Ron with a low blow, and he'd never been so mad. Which, for a mad scientist, was saying something.

"I'll walk back to the Lair. Don't wait up on me" Shego said as she turned her back and walked away.

As soon as Ron was able to stand, Drakken helped him walk – _very_ slowly – out to the waiting helicopter.

Krache and Burns were still waiting outside, leaning on the fuselage. In low voices, so they couldn't be heard, Capt. Krache told Lt. Burns, "Don't even think about it, Burns."

"But... look at 'em! How much more proof do you need? C'mon, admit it: I win the Stoppable Pool."

"Not yet, Burns."

The pilots got in their seats and hooked up. The engines began warming.

"You'll be alright, Ron?" Drakken asked, strapping him into a seat.

"Believe it or not, Doc, I've had worse. I'll be fine. Call me!"

"Very well, then" he said, kissing Ron one last time, on the forehead, "I'll call you tomorrow."

The pilots had seen the kiss on their cabin monitor screens. "You spawny get" Krache whispered, "But I'm still in the running on the Possible Pool, y'know. Hey. Twenty bucks says they kiss within 24 hours. Whaddaya say?"

"Hmmm. Kim Possible? 48 hours" Burns bargained.

"Deal."

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

"Hey, Monique..." Kim said rather dejectedly. She'd been that way all day of days now.

"GirlFRIEND! Hey, we've got a whole shipment of cargo-pants coming in tomorrow! But... really, you don't need to be here early or anything. You're the only one that buys 'em anyway."

"Uh, yeah, thanks, Monique. I... uh, wanted to ask you something..."

"Belly-shirts? No prob, came in yesterday, if you'll come this -"

"No! Monique, will you just _talk_ to me a while here?" Kim was getting flustered. She wasn't really looking forward to this, but didn't know where else to go.

"Well! I thought for SURE the belly-shirts would cheer you up. So what's goin' on, GF?"

"I wanted to ask if you knew if there any girls at school who... like... other girls?" Kim asked staring at the counter-top.

"Lesbos? In Middleton?"

"Yeah. Well, that's what I thought. Okay, thanks -"

"Let's see: there's one Man-hating Dyke, " Monique counted them off on her fingers, "at LEAST two Submissives, the Leather Mistress, three – no,_ FOUR_ Butch Babes , if you count -"

Kim stared at her with eyes too open, "_Leather_ Mistress? Who's the Leather Mistress?"

Monique didn't answer, but only looked at Kim questioningly. "Maybe you'd better tell me why you're asking, GF. I didn't think you were... into that sort of thing. Actually, I didn't think you were into ANYthing..."

"Oh. Yeah. Well... I don't know... I guess I just wanted to see, y'know, how many there were. Or something. Out of curiosity."

"GF, I was only counting off the Freaks. There's LOTS more that are, well, just like you and me... uh, I mean, regular girls."

"Really?" Kim said. This was incredible to her. She'd thought there might be ONE, two at most. Was it really so common?

"Oh, sure! I tell ya, though, I think the fags outnumber us, but they keep quieter about – uhm..." Monique realized her faux-pas a little late, and waited to see if the other girl would catch it.

Kim was still trying to come to grips with the numbers, and said off-handedly, "It's not nice to call them 'fags', Monique, because... it's..."

She stared at the black girl. Kim probably spent more time with Monique than anyone, including Ron. She thought she knew _everything_ about her. Apparently not.

Monique sighed._ Ohwell, cat's out of the bag, now... what a funny way to put it._

"I can call them 'fags', Kim, because I'm a 'dyke'. We sorta have something in common that way. I can, but you can't. That's just how works."

Knowing now that Monique was a "dyke" somehow made it... more respectable. Like it was maybe – just maybe – okay. Sorta. Kim hadn't even KNOWN! So apparently being a "dyke" was NOT like holding a big, blaze-orange sign over your head that said "LESBO HERE" on it, after all...

She looked at Monique sheepishly, "Well, what if I could?"

"Kimberly Anne Possible! Are you coming out of the closet? At Club Banana? In the mall? Actually, it's not like you'd be the first... but anyway, you serious?"

She was ready to say "yes", but then the stammering came back, "I... well... uh... I'm... It's... like... I mean... ooooOOOH FUCK!" Kim screamed, eyes squinted shut and fists at her sides, "YES, OKAY? I'm a DYKE! A LESBO! HOMOSEXUAL! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW!" She opened her eyes and glared at Monique as if it were a challenge.

Everyone in the store, and most of the people out in the mall in front of it, were looking at her.

Monique was biting her upper lip to keep herself from laughing. "Okie-dokie, Kim... uh, you wanna follow me into the storeroom for a minute here?"

Suddenly, the idea of following Monique into the storeroom took on a whole different meaning. "Uh..."

Monique looked back at her, "GF, if you're thinking what I _think_ you're thinking, then I think you should think again. Ya think?"

"Uh..."

"Or do you wanna stay out here because you have more show to put on for everybody?" she nodded to the opening into the mall. Kim looked around and met dozens and dozens of staring eyes and raised brows, young and old, male and female. Her face _immediately_ turned blood-red.

Kim hid her burning face in her hands, "Oh, gawd, I did NOT just do that!"

Taking her hand, Monique silently led Kim into the privacy of the room behind the counter.

"I did NOT just tell the whole world I was gay, did I?" Kim sulked.

"Not the WHOLE world, GF. But enough. Hope you weren't going to try and keep it a secret."

Kim slumped to the floor. "Actually, yes, that's EXACTLY what I was going to do. Awwww gawwwd..."

There were probably few worse ways to "come out" than screaming it in a mall, on Saturday. Monique tried to take the girl's mind off it, "So, anyway, Kim... who's the lucky girl? Who finally got you interested enough to actually deal?"

Kim looked over at her, then back to the floor. "I'll tell you, once I see if I can get her back. I think I really screwed up, Monique..."

"Shego?"

It was a final humiliation. "You too? Is there ANYone who didn't notice?"

Monique pointed to her own face, "Sharp eyes. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, -I- am the 'Leather Mistress'."

Actually, it kind of did.

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A/N: idea of the "betting pool" on Ron and Kim courtesy of NoDrog.


	8. Chapter 8: Kigo

Monique pointed to her own face, "Sharp eyes. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, -I- am the 'Leather Mistress'."

Actually, it kind of did.

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"So, who are the 'Submissives', then? And... what does that mean, exactly?" Kim asked.

Monique's trick had worked; Kim was no longer facing the fact that by Monday morning, the whole school would know about her. "Uh... I think you'd be better off figuring those things out for yourself. You've got other things to deal with right now. Lucky for you, your 'rents are cool."

"OH MY GOD! MY PARENTS! Monique! What am I gonna do?" One crisis to another. On the bright side, it kept Kim from dwelling on any one of them too much.

"Calm down, girlfriend. Like I said, your 'rents are cool. If _I_ had folks like that, I'd just come straight out and tell 'em. But, you can just play dumb if you want to. I doubt if they'll make a big fuss. 'Rents, y'know... they'll just assume it's a 'phase' anyway. Don't worry about it."

"Yeah. Yeah. Play dumb... good idea..." Kim mulled it over. So much to think about!

Monique left her there thinking about – things – while she went back to work, handling the customers at Club Banana. Two hours later, Kim peeked out of the storeroom curtain to see if the crowd of on-lookers had cleared off. Finding none, finally took her first steps in public as a Lesbian. It took a few deep breaths to do...

"Monique... thanks. For everything. I... I got a phone call to make. See ya at school."

"Later on, GF" her friend replied, "And hey – Kim. You may... you may find friends in places you didn't expect. It'll be cool, okay? Welcome to the club!" She winked.

Kim walked out of Club Banana without a single shopping bag, probably for the first time in her life. _... in places I don't expect? The club?_

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"KP! I heard the news! 'Grats!" Ron yelled to her from her parent's front porch, where he had been waiting.

Kim was a little taken aback. Already? "How... who..."

"We're going to have to find you a speech-therapist, you keep up with the stuttering like that. I heard it from Felix who heard it from Tara who heard it from her parents who have friends who have a cousin..."

_Great. Three hours, and it's all over town. Just freakin' great. Which means... MY 'rents will have heard already, too. Ahhhh, gawd. It's all your fault, Shego. You did this to me. Do you even care?_

"... who were at the mall. So, uh... you ready to give her a call? I can get her on the phone, y'know. If you wanna call her. Huh? KP?"

"You can? You know the phone number to the lair? That's great! We can trace it... and..."

Ron was giving her a look both dirty and surprised.

"Uh, I guess not, huh?"

"No, I guess not. In fact, I think I'll be the one doing the dialing, if you don't mind" he said with mild suspicion.

"They ARE criminals, you know. And we ARE the good guys... so we -" Kim began.

Ron shot back, "So we nothing, Kim. As far as all that goes, there's no change, get it? If YOU are going to let that stand in your way, well, I guess Shego was right, 'Mayberry' doesn't go far enough." He turned to go home.

"Wait. Ron, wait. Give me a chance to think about things, okay? What I said about tracing... was just habit, y'know? Old habit. Uh... I'd really appreciate it if you'd make that call."

Ron turned around and looked at her, slowly smiling. "OKKP – I love saying that – I'll dial, you talk."

"Thanks" she said as she unlocked her front door, "And what's all this about 'Mayberry'?"

Luckily her "'rents" weren't home. _Yeah, and it's Saturday... so they're probably at the Mall. Lucky? I need to find another narrator..._

Ron told the incredibly beautiful, smart, and talented red-head all about his conversation with Shego during his "first date" with Drakken.

And Kim agreed, "Yeah. 'Mayberry, RFD, black and white'. I get it. Probably true, too. But, I'm getting better... don't you think I'm getting better?"

He looked up from the phone, "Slowly, KP. Very slowly. Now shush! Drak? It's me. Oh, no, just helping out Kim a little, apparently she -"

"RON!"

"... uh, I mean, is Shego around? Kim wants to talk to her."

Ron listened for a moment while Drakken relayed the message, then looked over at Kim, "She says she has nothing to say to you."

Kim sighed, "Tell her it's Mayberry's newest lesbian."

Ron passed it on to Drakken, who held the phone down while he in turn told Shego. Suddenly, the normally quiet lair seemed to erupt into a variety of noises -

_Crash! Shego! You just.. Bang! watch out for the - Thump! Crash! Tinkle tinkle tinkle My porcelain! Watchou – BAM! Sheg-OOF! Kim! (pant) Kim is that you! (pant) KIM!_

"Uh, here ya go, KP..." Ron said calmly smiling.

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"KIM! Dammit, Drakken, if you were pulling my leg, I'm gonna give you SUCH a -"

"Uh, Shego?"

A moment of silence greeted her from the other end of the line, as Shego's mind fought between different personalities. Kim was on the line. She was there. She had finally admitted she was Lesbian. It could all happen. Her and... her Princess. _No, that's a tease-name. I can't call her that... Kimmie, or Pumpkin, then. No, maybe not 'Pumpkin', yet. Just Kim. Yeah. Must remember!_

"So, Princess, finally took the plunge, eh?" _DAMMIT!_ Apparently the 'Shego personality' had won the fight, or at least control of the mouth.

"Yeah. I guess..."

More dead silence.

"So... uh, Pumpkin... uh..." _What the HELL's wrong with me!_ Shego thought,_ Why can't I think! _

Drakken, recovered from a rather forceful shove in the gut by now, mouthed the words "_Dinner and a movie."_

"What?" Shego asked.

"What what?" Kim responded.

"Uh... hold on a sec, Kimmie" she covered the mouthpiece.

"Dinner and a movie!" Drakken said, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. "Or, 'go for a ride in my car'. Remember, Shego - High School! Think High School!"

Shego uncovered the mouthpiece, "You wanna go see dinner and a movie?" Drakken covered his eyes with both hands.

"What?"

"Have a movie. See dinner. You know, High School!"

"Shego... are you okay? You sound kinda... funny..."

"DAMMIT!" Shego held the phone away and yelled at herself, "DAMMIT ALL TO HELL! Fuckin' stupid bloody shit-faced HELL on a -"

Drakken was staring at her now, pointing to the phone still in her hand. Shego held it up to her ear with a terrified look on her face.

"Shego? You there? Are... you okay? Shego?" Kim sounded worried.

"I'm here, Prince-" _FUCK! "_uh, Pump-" _DAMN!_ "... I'm here, Kim. Uh... look, could I just have a minute here? I'm... I'm..."

"Yeah, me too, Shego. Good idea. A minute."

They were actually only silent for about half that. They could hear each other breathe, though. In fact, neither of them had ever noticed that you could hear someone breathe over the phone. Neither of them had ever listened for it before... now they listened intently.

Until Shego finally got her head cleared, "Dinner and a movie."

"Sounds good..." Kim said a little anxiously.

"Pick you up at eight?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, uh..." Shego had to close her eyes and concentrate to say it, "...Kim. Bye then."

"Bye Shego."

_Click_

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"Well, how was it, KP?" Ron asked after Shego had dropped Kim off at her house. At least he wasn't hiding in the bushes, but he still couldn't see what went on during the five minutes the car had been by the curb. Shego's car had tinted windows.

"You ever hear of a movie called '_Dementia – Lesbian Tentacle Monster from Beyond Space'_"?

Ron just stared at her for a moment. No... No, he probably would have remembered that.

"Ah. A chick-flick?" he said wryly.

"You could say that" she answered, just as wryly, "And dinner? You ever eat lobster? _Maine_ lobster? You know, where you pick 'em out of the tank?"

"Can't say I have. Good?"

"Messy! But SO good! Gawd, the woman _does_ know how to live! She also knows some parts of Middleton I sure wouldn't go alone..."

"Like where they have theaters that show movies about lesbian tentacle -"

"Exactly." Kim started giggling for some reason.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked, ready to giggle himself just imagining what she might be thinking.

"Tentacle monster! You know what tentacle monsters like to do, Ron?"

"Uh... yeah... I have some idea. They have an appetite for Japanese school-girls, I hear."

Kim only giggled more.

But there was more Ron wanted to know. "So... uh... anything else happen?"

"We just talked, Ron. Nothing juicy. I was _SO_ nervous, and wouldja believe, so was she? Shego? Nervous? She kept trying NOT to call me 'Princess'. It was hilarious! I wouldn't have believed it..." Suddenly her face took a serious attitude, "Damn! I should've told her it was okay. DAMN! Ron! You gotta call the lair again! I gotta -"

"Save it for the next date, KP. Aaaaand when's that gonna be?"

Now her face turned from serious to worried to terrified in the space of five seconds.

"FUCK!" That made twice in one day for her to use the 'F' word, rather putting to shame her previous record of once in 16 years. "I didn't think... we didn't... oh GAWD! You gotta call her for me Ron! Tonight! You've got to!"

Ron sighed, "Okay okay, Kim. I'll call again. But first you gotta tell me: were you kissing in her car just now?"

She blushed powerfully and looked at her shoes, "...Yes..."

He wagged a finger at her, "YOU were kissing Shego! You were KISSING Shego! YOU were KISSING -"

"Ha ha, Ron. You're funny. Don't quit your day-job, though."

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"Hi Kim!" Felix said, wheeling by on the ramp as she climbed the front steps to Middleton High (Home of the Dawgs).

Today was the Big Day, the day she'd spent most of yesterday preparing herself for. Her plan was to avoid all eye-contact, ignore everyone, and otherwise pretend nothing had happened in the Mall last Saturday. It wasn't much of plan... but the alternative – running away to Tierra del Fuego – was too expensive. She only had $19 to her name.

"Uh... oh, hi, Felix" she said. _Okay, so Felix is an exception. But I'm ignoring everyone else..._

"Morning sunshine!" Josh said, waiting by the door to open it for her. She glanced into his eyes to see if he "meant anything by that", but couldn't find any sign.

"Hi, Josh." _Well, Josh is okay... but I'm ignoring -_

"Kim! I wanna talk to you!" Bonnie said in the hallway. _Ignore her... ignore her... ignore-_

"This cheer for next weekends game. You know it's an _away_ game, right? Like, _far_ away? As in, most of the crowd will NOT be from Middleton? You really wanna say 'bite my shorts' under those conditions?"

_Bite my shorts? What?_, Kim thought, _What's she... cheer? CHEER! _"Oh, gawd, that's right, I totally forgot about... uh... that." _Is that all? That CAN'T be all..._

"Good, I thought not. So, I'll replace it with 'Go Mad Dogs', as usual, right?"

"Uh... yeah, right, Bonnie."

Bonnie started to walk off, apparently satisfied with that answer and done with the conversation. But Kim couldn't leave it like that. Bonnie had been her worst nightmare – literally – yesterday. And all she was concerned with was next weekend's cheer?

"Bonnie!" Kim cried a little too loudly, to get her attention. The lieutenant cheerleader turned around, annoyed.

"Yeah?"

"Uh... is that... is that all you've got to say?"

"Duh! What else would I... oh, your little Mall Episode? Is that it?"

"Well... yeah... aren't you going to say... _SOME_thing mean about it?"

"It was good for a chuckle, Kim. I'm sure you were SO embarrassed. The whole damn Mall, an' all. But – not that I wouldn't LOVE to have something juicy to tease you with – what's the Big Deal?"

"What's the big deal? What's the big DEAL?" Kim looked around, and dragged Bonnie out of the middle of the hallway, "I come out as GAY and you ask me what's the BIG DEAL? What are you planning, Bonnie! I know you're planning SOMEthing! Is this some kind of -"

"Let – wouldja let GO of me! Geez!" Bonnie complained. When Kim did let go of her jacket collar, Bonnie regarded the red-head as if trying to figure out how she could get some advantage out of the situation.

But she couldn't find a way, so she simply said, "Can you really be that clueless? You've had Shego's picture in your locker – year after year – for... how many years now? You date guys – rarely- but none of them even get to first base? You don't think we notice things like that? You mean... you actually thought it was a secret!"

Stunned speechless, Kim could only gawk.

"Get a Life, Kimmie. All work and no play is making you SO the dull girl!"

Bonnie waited, hoping to get SOME kind of rise out of the other girl. But Kim just stood there with her mouth open, gawking. She sighed heavily, "You're letting the flies in, Kim" and walked away.

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	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER

I don't own any characters (Disney does) I make no profit from any of this story.

If you're under 13 years of age, you shouldn't be reading this, so please don't

If the rules of this particular web-site are more restrictive than the above, then please adhere to them.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bonnie waited, hoping to get SOME kind of rise out of the other girl. But Kim just stood there with her mouth open, gawking. She sighed heavily, "You're letting the flies in, Kim" and walked away.

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"Yes, Ron? It's me. I was wondering if you'd like to help me pick out my new car..." Drakken smiled to himself. Of COURSE he would!

"Are you kidding me? You bet! What were you thinking of getting?" Ron said excitedly.

"Well, the new Hummers are -"

"Doc?"

"- out... uh, yes?"

"Forget Hummers. Hummers are a non-starter. Just get Hummers out of your mind."

Drakken had actually thought Ron would appreciate him buying the biggest SUV on the road. Now he was saying they were "non-starters"? Who was HE to tell HIM what kind of vehicle he should buy... with HIS money, too, after all. Who did he think he was?

Ron sensed the tension in the pause and tried to explain himself, "Doc... sorry if that came out kind of... well... The thing is, well... the thing is, Drak, it would just be embarrassing, okay? Are you... I mean, everyone will just think you're trying to compensate for something."

"Compensate? What do you mean 'compensate'?"

In his room, Ron shook his head. Drakken could be SO thick sometimes. "Like for a small penis, Doc. Or otherwise a lack of manhood. I'm just sayin' that's what people think when they see Hummers, is all. Why do you want one, anyway?"

"Because they're military-grade, for one thing, and have lots of room, and you can put snorkels on them, and forge rivers! They're just... how do you say... 'cool'!"

"Yeah, and if you have a whole staff of mechanics who work for free, and you got a contract to get them super-cheap, and money is no object besides, then -"

"Money IS no object, Ron! You know that..."

Drakken had a point there, Ron had forgotten. Dr. Donut Baron could buy what he wanted.

"Okay, let's look at it another way, Doc. You're showing up all of a sudden in these _really great_ suits. Seriously, you have style when you're picking out the suits. It's kind of amazing, actually..."

"Why... why thank you, Ron. I appreciate that."

"I mean it, Drak. And you're welcome. So, use that same sense to pick out a car, is all, Doc. Think about it. You can tell when a suit looks good on you... would a Hummer look good on you?"

"Well..." Now Ron had a point. He'd never thought of buying a car that way... but it kind of made sense, "Well, what do YOU suggest then?"

"Uh... I dunno... I hadn't thought about it. Mercedes? Nah, kinna stuffy, and everyone has one, anyway. BMW? Too preppy. Audi... boooooring... You need something special, I think. A convertible. Yeah, you have the hair for it... definitely a convertible. Something people don't see very often, if ever... kinna like an 'arachnoid'."

Ron paused to consider further options. Drakken waited awhile, thinking over the things the boy – young man – had said. Something special... that people didn't see very often, if at all... of course, that same thing made them hard to get. Still, a man of his means ought to be able to - And then it came in a flash – a fully-formed thought, already worked out, somehow, perhaps in the back of his mind. It didn't matter where it came from; it was there, and it was _GOOD_!

"I... I believe I have the answer, Ron... yes... yes! I do. I know what kind of car suits me. As it were."

"What?"

Drakken grinned. He knew of at least one for sale, too. Shego had been salivating over it, but claimed it wasn't flashy enough to suit her. "Shall I pick you up tomorrow? Friday night, say, seven? O'clock? PM? Third date?"

That shocked Ron a little, having Drakken call the shots for a change. But as the idea settled in, he found it... agreeable. And besides, it _was_ a Third Date... and _that_ meant...

Oh yeah, he was ready.

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Ron set up his alibi with Kim during school – she would cover for him. When he got home, he showered, carefully put on his mother's musk - as Kim had showed him - and considered what to wear. What to wear for his Third Date. Dr. Drakken would no doubt be wearing yet another stunning suit, he could be sure of that. Perhaps he should wear a suit? No... he only had the one: for marriages and funerals. He hemmed and hawed for fully an hour and a half. _Geez! I am such a... GIRL! C'mon Ron. Work with what ya got here..._

_Right. No suit, but pleated khakis. That'll work. Gray. Everything goes with gray, thank god. So... black? Nah, done that. White? Maybe. How about some color, fer cryin' out loud... _He held up a paisley shirt and looked in the mirror._ No... too hippie. Besides, doesn't go with my hair. Hey!_

In the end, it was the black shirt that won out, because it seemed to draw attention to his hair. He began putting on the outfit.

_I may not be the one pulling these off_ he thought, as he pulled up the pants over his boxers. _Gah! Boxers! No way! Not tonight! Geez, that was close..._ He felt as he'd avoided a near-catastrophe of earth-shaking proportions. Tightie-whiteys were the obviously way to go!

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Ron tried to look casual, waiting on his porch for Drakken to show up. To show up in his new... something. _Well, I bet it'll be obvious. I hope I did the right thing, letting him choose. He'd better not show up in a Volvo, is all I can say!_

A Rolls-Royce Corniche, black outside, black inside, with white trim pulled up. A "little deuce coup" befitting someone trying to take over the world. Drakken waved a white sleeve in the air.

Ron smiled ear-to-ear. _WAY - TO - GO - DOC!_

"What do you think of my new 'ride', Ron?" the Dr. asked with more than a little pride.

The teenager threw his backpack in what passed for "the back" and gingerly climbed in, afraid to touch anything. He resisted the urge to throw his arms around the Doctor then and there and commence swapping spit. Not in a convertible in front of his parent's house. Bad Idea. He wanted to, though. He sure did.

His date appeared a little worried about the backpack again, "Uh... Ron, we ARE going out for dinner, this time, you needn't bring -"

"It's not food, Doc. But it's still stuff I might need. Okay?" he said smiling at Drakken's discomfort.

"May I ask what sort of 'stuff', then?"

It wouldn't hurt to tell him... a little... enough to get the idea. "Like a toothbrush, for instance."

Drakken looked at him a little surprised, but for a long moment, then drove off.

Ron was enjoying the ride, the breeze, the evening, the whole experience, but he could tell the Doctor was still worried. _Well, he'll get around to saying it eventually, whatever it is._

"Ron?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want you to think that... that is to say... well, that I'm _expecting_ anything tonight.." the older man said never taking his eyes off the street.

"'S okay, Doc. I won't do anything I don't want to. Who knows? Maybe you'll be bringing me right back home, later. But I... uh... I hope not" Ron said, laying it out plainly. He glanced at Drakken and saw that he was still worried, "So quit being so nervous, 'cuz I'm nervous enough for us both, alright? Now, what's for dinner..."

RON was nervous? Ron had always been so... unexpectedly agreeable about the whole thing. From Day One. And now... _now_, with a toothbrush in his pack, he was _nervous?_ That actually made the Doctor feel a _whole_ lot better.

"Oysters" Drakken said, trying to keep from smiling.

"Oh GROSS!"

"Or crayfish. You choose."

"Crayfish? What's a 'crayfish'?" Ron asked.

"You might know them as 'crawdads', or perhaps 'crawfish', or as my family used to say, 'mud-bugs'."

"Crawdads? You're going to feed me fish-bait?"

Drakken chuckled, he knew that was coming, "That's right Ron. I've put on this new white suit, and I'm driving you in my new Rolls to a place we can eat bait." He glanced over at the boy, "Trust me, you'll like it. I'll teach you how to suck the heads."

Ron did a four-point double take that any situation-comedy actor would have been proud of. Apparently, Doc wasn't kidding about it though. "Well, _that_ sounds promising, anyway!"

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"Now you take it like this," Drakken explained, holding a boiled mud-bug up, "and break the tail off like _so_. Then you simply pull the meat out with your teeth. But keep the carapace pointed _up!_ Now, you tip it to your mouth so that none of the juice runs out, and suck, like this..."

"That's... that's... that's the second most disgusting thing I've ever seen, Doc..." Ron said feeling a little nauseous at the sight.

Drakken only smiled at him, "And the first is?"

"Anyone eating oysters. They're _raw_, they're _alive_... and you don't even chew! You just let 'em slide... ew, gawd..."

"You shouldn't knock it until you've tried it, Ron. But you're right, they _are_ alive. In fact, if you listen closely when you squeeze the lemon on," he demonstrated, squirting the juice onto one and making an exaggerated show of tilting his ear at it, "you can actually hear them scream! MWUHAHAHAHA!" He tilted his head back and let the shellfish slide into his mouth.

Ron sat stunned. It wasn't about the evil laugh, or the consumption of a living creature, bathed in what _had_ to be painful amounts of lemon-juice on it's fragile body tissue... It was Drakken being goofy. Being goofy _on purpose_ and _for him!_ And he was good at it, too... A wave of warm emotion washed over him as he sat there in front of what must have been five gallons of boiled crustacean. _God, I just LOVE him!_

_Whoa... what did I just say? _Ron thought. He glanced at Drakken, who was grinning at Ron's stupefaction. _Yeah, well, maybe I didn't mean it like that._ Collecting himself, Ron anxiously picked up a hot (mild, actually, but hot from the pot, anyway) crawfish and examined it carefully. _So, you break it here..._

He ate his first tail. Apparently, "mild" at The Cajun Pier would have passed as XXXMF HOT Diablo sauce from Bueno Nacho.

"Gah! Hot! Hot!" he gasped reaching for his iced tea. Tears ran from his eyes.

"The secret is to keep as much air as possible from getting on your tongue, Ron. Try another" Drakken said, trying not to giggle, "And when it gets to where you can't stand it anymore, one of _these_-" he held up a half-shelled oyster, "- really does the trick."

Forty-five minutes, another order of crayfish, and of oysters – and three more iced-teas – later, they sat back patting their bellies. Ron had been sucking heads and knocking down oysters like a Thibaudeaux from the Atchafalaya bayou.

While Drakken sipped his wine, Ron thought, _Yeah. I COULD love him. If..._

Almost as if the Doctor knew what he was thinking, Drakken said, "You know, Ron, once I'm running the world, I intend -"

"Uh, Doc? Could we not talk about that... I mean... well, nevermind. Just don't talk about it, okay?"

The evil scientist gave him a perplexed look, "But, I thought -"

"Look, I don't have a problem with the robots, machines, doo-hickeys... all that. I kind of get into 'em because _you_ do so much. But... I don't..." Ron sighed. How could the Doctor not understand? "Let's just not talk about _that_, okay? Tonight?"

Drakken sighed too, now. Everything had been so... _good_ between them, right up until now. It could have been _perfect_. A Perfect Evening, even if it went no further than this. If only... He let it go. What else could he do?

"I... I'm sorry, you're right... Ron. Shall I take you home now?"

The blonde teen actually thought about it. _Let's try to salvage it, Doc. Whaddaya say?_

"How 'bout we go back to the lair and watch a movie instead. Ya got anything good?"

"Well... I have "Popeye", - the movie, and -"

"You've GOT to be kidding me!"

Drakken studied the – young man – trying to decide if his outburst was a good or bad thing. "Well, no, I'm not. I know it seems silly on the surface, but -"

"I hate to say this Doc... but my opinion of you just took a nosedive. I mean, _Popeye_?"

Drakken REALLY hadn't needed to hear that. Well, if that's how it was to be... "My sources inform _me_, Ron, that you spend quite a bit of time involved in watching Professional Wrestling."

THAT put him in his place. At first, Ron was prepared to defend his liking of the "sport", but watching Drakken straighten his tie – oh, so mature – he realized: they were each "stupid" in their own way. He began to chuckle helplessly as he thought of Dr. Drakken sitting in his recliner, smoking-jacket and pipe, absorbed in watching a musical-comedy adaptation of a 1940's cartoon.

Drakken soon joined him, and they left the restaurant laughing at each other.

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Not "Popeye", but "Godzilla vs Mothra" was the movie they agreed upon. It was something you _could_ watch, if you _had_ to, but wouldn't worry about if you... missed too much.

The Doctor – sans jacket, tie, and vest - joined Ron on the couch; close, but not actually touching. They sat straight – almost painfully – upright, and the ridiculousness of it was apparent to them both, but neither dared to say anything about it. The opening theme and credits of the movie finally ended, and with it Ron's willingness to let that situation stand.

"Doc... Drak, I'm thinking it'll be a lot easier for both of us – well, for me anyway – if we just... sort of... _pretend_ we've done this before... y'know?"

There was a pregnant silence as Drakken thought it over. Pretend? That was... was...

"You know, Ron... you may be right, it's just that..."

"Have you?"

Drakken had been thinking about something else, "Pardon me? Have I what?"

"Have you done this before." Ron turned to see Drakken's face.

"Oh. Well, uh... yes, but not since you were... I mean to say... not since college."

_That was probably a long time ago_, Ron thought. "So, you were going to say... 'not since you were born', weren't ya..."

"Yes" Drakken said, not looking at him.

"Can I ask how come? I mean... you're a good-looking guy, Doc. Even the blue doesn't change that – not that I can think of you any other way – so... well... how come no boyfriends?"

The Doctor stared at Ron for awhile before answering. It was a rather personal question. Then again, they both were developing a "rather personal" relationship, and were there, in his lair - Shego away with Kim as had been pre-arranged - for a "rather personal" reason.

"The truth is, I had rather assumed that that part of my life was behind me, Ron. It's hard to explain... things get in the way. Studies in grad-school, the accident that turned me... that made me the way I am, the whole nightmare of trying to become a recognized scientist. Then the business – I had never actually thought it would take off like it did. One thing then another. And the surprising thing is: I didn't even realize I missed it. Until that night you came here alone, and Shego chained you up. I can honestly say I hadn't even _looked_ at anyone... in that way... in all those years, before that night."

"That's why you let me go..."

"Yes. Seeing you there was stirring up too many... feelings... that I had thought were gone. It was... unpleasant. In a way."

"Okay. I think I gotcha, Doc." _So that's what it's like to be his age... lots of things to remember, lots of things to regret... Poor Drak. My most traumatic memory is spending a summer sharing a cabin with a chimpanzee. He's SO outta my league! But I can understand it, somehow. How he must feel._

"Uhm, look Doc... I know I've been kinda... leading the dance... for awhile, with us. But... I'm kind of... I mean, I've never..." he took a deep breath, "Would you mind taking charge tonight?"

Truth was, the Doctor _did_ mind. "There's a reason you've been calling the shots, Ron. I thought you understood -"

"Yeah, I know. And I'm sayin' that I think that part's over now. I'm here, of my own free will, with pajamas in my backpack, and we both know why. So... I'd just be... more comfortable if you'd... lead the way... from here on out. Tonight. Uhm, I swear, on whatever you want me to, that I won't hold anything against you tomorrow, no matter what happens. Okay?"

Drakken could tell that his speech had been sincere. It was also rational, even logical, and very... well, mature. He was accepting risk, the risk of letting this strange man – an Evil Mad Scientist, after all – seduce him. He was accepting it because – maybe – he _wanted_ him to. _Ron..._ That one word, and no more, went through the Doctor's mind.

Very well then. Let the Show begin. Drakken was taking his share of risks, too. Tomorrow might be the start of a long nightmare. He could be wrong about Ron and his level of maturity – his point of view was biased, after all. Everything could fall apart any second. But maybe it wouldn't. Only one way to find out, but... was it worth the risk? He stared at Ron's freckles. Yes. Yes, it was.

Drakken tried to forget – or at least put aside – his fears and pessimism about this relationship, about Ron, about the remaining MAJOR unresolved issue between them.

"Did you say 'pajamas'?

Ron smiled, "Yeah. Wanna get more comfortable? You don't by any chance own a smoking-jacket, do ya?"

"Well, not per se, Ron... but I _do_ have a robe that looks much like one. Yes, let us both get 'more comfortable', then."

"Back in a flash, Doc!" Ron said, fairly jumping for his backpack and jogging to the bathroom to change.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

By the time they got back, Mothra was terrorizing Tokyo with it's incredibly lame Voice Beam of Destruction. Ron waited on the Doctor to get seated, and the Doctor turned slightly more sideways towards the TV this time. Ron sat rather stiffly beside him. Drakken sighed out loud and put both arms around Ron, pulling him close and turning him sideways on the couch, so that Ron was leaning against him, the older man's right arm wrapped around the younger's stomach. Ron was a little surprised – but that's what he had asked for, after all. And actually... it _did_ feel nice.

_Very_ nice.

They pretended to watch Godzilla make his "terrifying" entrance. Ron's eyes were closed, though, as he enjoyed the solidity of the body behind him, and the strong arm around his midsection. The Doctor, meanwhile, was trying – secretly at first - to inhale the fragrance of Ron's hair. Eventually he forgot the "secret" part and began outright nuzzling the top of the blonde head at his shoulder.

Ron had previously thought quite a lot about the things that might happen tonight. But it had never occurred to him that he might be gently "nuzzled". As a result, he was totally unprepared for the melting he felt in his chest, his gut - his whole body - as the older man breathed into his hair and brushed his lips against his scalp.

He moved his head a little to the side, off of Drakken's shoulder, and leaned back without thinking, not knowing ahead of time why he was doing so. He felt the hand holding his side start to move inside up his pajama top, caressing his belly, his chest. Then he felt Drakken's mouth take his.

It went on a breathlessly long time.

As he Doctor finally moved off his lips and on toward Ron's ear – for which Ron obligingly turned his head – he also became aware that Drakken's caressing hand had moved below the waist of his pajamas, and was actually holding onto his penis, very gently. With this awareness, his back arched more. And more. Until finally he slipped off Drakken's shoulder completely and found himself lying face-up on Drakken's lap. He opened his eyes.

Drakken was looking down at him. "Get up..." he whispered, "stand."

Without saying anything, Ron did as he was told, standing in front of the seated man, his erection making a tent in his pajamas. Drakken started unbuttoning Ron's top. Once it was fully opened, he pulled Ron towards himself and began nuzzling his belly, and then his chest.

Then he began lightly kissing Ron's nipples.

It was almost more than the young man could take. His knees felt weak. If Drakken hadn't been hugging him so tightly, he might have actually fallen down. Ron's hands found their way by themselves to the Doctor's hair, stroking his pony-tail.

The Doctor's mouth began moving down Ron's chest, toward his belly-button.

Able to think straight, momentarily, Ron knew what was coming. And he wanted it – wanted it more than he'd thought he would. But... there was something else he wanted even more, right now.

He gently lifted the Doctor's head from his belly and pushed Drakken back on the couch. After untying the belt of Drakken's robe ,he kneeled in front of the man, between his legs, and pulled his erection out of his silk boxers. Then he stared.

He had never had the opportunity to actually look, hard, at anyone else's penis before. Guys just don't do that. A quick glance to compare size is all one can typically get away with. Well, this wasn't a typical situation... certainly not for him, it wasn't.

It was blue, of course. Ron had figured as much, and thought it would be weird seeing it, but it wasn't. It seemed... perfectly natural, oddly enough. He held the Doctor in the same way the Doctor had been holding him.

Which was another thing he'd never done before – touching a penis other than his own. It was kind of strange... it really _did_ feel like bone! Like soft, stretchy skin pulled over bone. It was kind of... weird... but when he squeezed and heard the Dr. groan, and then looked up to see that his eyes were closed, his head back - he realized the power he held in his hand. Just a little squeeze could do that to him... give him that much pleasure. He looked back at Drakken's penis, and then held it against his ear and cheek, getting the feel of it on his skin.

It had actually never occurred to Ron that he would want this so much... but he wasn't thinking about that, as he took Dr. Drakken into his mouth.

He wasn't thinking, period. Feeling, tasting, aware... but not thinking. His whole world had concentrated into this one man in his mouth. He pressed upward with his tongue, careful to keep his teeth away, and let more of the Doctor enter. At the back of his throat he finally had to stop – not because he was gagging - as he'd been sure he would when he'd imagined it before - but simply because he was at the wrong angle to take any more. Still, that far was far enough, and he began stroking with his mouth and tongue at the same time.

It was over far too soon, as far as Ron was concerned. Warm, salty, and slightly bitter, he swallowed the man's orgasm, taking it into himself.

Still he sucked, though, until he cold feel the erection softening, and then – reluctantly and slowly – pulled his mouth off. He took it in his hand and held Drakken's penis just to his lips for a long while before he even became aware of the man's palm against his ear. He pressed his head into that hand, relishing the touch of the man he had just... swallowed. He opened his eyes and looked up into Drakken's. Something had been shared.

The Doctor helped Ron to his feet, and then picked up what he was doing before Ron had stopped him, beginning again by kissing Ron's nipples, this time holding Ron penis in his hand, and squeezing gently, rhythmically. Then he pushed Ron back enough so that he could slide down onto his knees, and performed the same service on the younger man as he had just enjoyed.

Again, it was over too quickly – _far_ too quickly - and he was sweetly saddened to have to stop. He slipped back up onto the couch and pulled the blonde to himself, so Ron was straddling his lap. They stared at each other a long time.

The movie was ending.

"Shall we start it again?" the Doctor asked, smiling.

Ron had no idea what Drakken was talking about, "Huh?"

"The movie. Shall we start it again? Maybe we'll watch it, this time?"

"Oh" Ron's cheeks flushed, "Yeah. Okay. I'll get us some snacks, and we'll watch it again, yeah."

He got off Drakken's lap and began walking towards the kitchen, when he realized something, and turned back to look at him:

"Well, maybe we'll watch _part _of it again, anyway." He grinned at the Doctor, and to himself.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, maybe we'll watch _part _of it again, anyway." He grinned at the Doctor, and to himself.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Three in the morning, and Ron was _hungry_! He carefully climbed out of the bed so as not to awaken the sleeping Evil Scientist next to him, and padded barefoot to the kitchen. Cheese. Cheese was always good.

As he wound his way through the Lair's "Big Room", he heard the front door slam, and quick-step but near-silent footfalls that could only be one person. As she got closer to the stairway, he could hear her mumbling to herself.

Eventually she pass him without ever looking his way – she seemed... well, in a bad mood.

"Shego?"

"mumble fkn stpd" she was saying, then glanced at him cursorily, "GRRUF! dmnd chrldng gdy..."

She marched up the stairs loudly as he watched, and he heard another door slam – hard.

_Guess her date didn't go so well... _ He actually felt a little sorry for the thief – he could imagine the kinds of problem she might be having. But... it didn't bother him all _that _much. _Heh. Girls will be girls..._ he giggled and went to check the fridge.

He was just about to bite into his blue-cheese and banana sandwich when Shego came into the kitchen. Her previous mood completely changed into a sort of generalized anger at the world, now. Apparently she had relieved her frustrations... somehow.

She glanced at him – a little surprised to see him in Drakken's robe – and buried her head in the refrigerator without a word.

"Uhm... so how'd it go?" he said – a tragic opening line, considering.

"Rugin' mekon tase" she said, "Mekon tase! GAWH!" She pulled her head out of the appliance holding a bottle of water in one hand, Hershey's syrup in another, and a pint of Hagen-Daz clenched in her teeth. She slammed that door, too, and set the items on the counter, looking for a bowl, then deciding against it, and pouring the syrup directly into the tub of ice-cream.

"Uh... say what?"

She turned to him with syrup on the corners of her mouth, "FIVE HOURS! Five hours with her, and I get to second base! SECOND BASE! Can you believe it!" She glared at him as if it were his fault.

"Yeah, well... that's farther than anyone's ever been before. What'd you expect? You think she was just gonna -"

"NEVER MIND what I THOUGHT, Stoppable!" She attacked the pint carton viciously, "None of your business what I THOUGHT! Doy!"

Ron decided that maybe it was best to eat in silence while Shego concentrated her anger on the ice-cream.

The carton was empty before he was halfway through his sandwich, and she stared at it balefully. Then she sniffed the air and looked over at him, looking almost worried.

"What IS that smell?"

"Blue-cheese and banana" he said, cheerfully – knowing how awful it sounded to everyone, "Want me to make you one?"

"Glacial Spring Water" spewed from her mouth and nose over the counter-top. " -hik- I don't _think_ so."

"Ron."

"Huh? She said, still recovering from the horror of the "Ronwich".

"You said you were going to call me 'Ron' from now on. Remember?"

She had sort of hoped he'd forgotten about that. "Yeah, I remember. _Ron_. Happy now? I take it _YOUR_ date hit a home run..."

"Uh... yeah... couple of times, actually -"

She mumbled some more, but all he could make out was something about "fargin' bastiges".

"So... uh, what's 'second base' mean, anyway?"

Shego sighed as she wiped up the counter, then resumed cleaning up the mess again. "It means I got to feel her up, Ron. Not SEE anything, mind you... oh noooo, that wouldn't be RIGHT, now WOULD it..." and she began mumbling again.

Finally, she finished wiping the counter and took a seat at the table where Ron sat just finishing his snack.

"She says... she has a problem with... my line of work. So I told her, 'You don't think I might have the same problem with YOUR job?' She... she didn't seem to get the point. Are ALL you do-gooders that thick? YOU don't seem to have a problem with that..."

Ron stared at his plate. Actually, he _did_ have a problem with that.

"I'm not Kim, Shego. And even if I... am willing to ignore it, for awhile, it's still a problem for me too."

"Well, if _you_ can put it aside for one night, I don't see -"

"Shego, we're not called 'Team Stoppable'. _My_ picture is never in the papers. The press doesn't even know my name – I'm 'the sidekick', as you like to remind me. So maybe I don't have to... deal with what she does. I dunno... I think Kim lets all that get to her, sometimes... you know, Miss All -"

"-American World-Saving Super-Hero Cheerleader" Shego finished his sentence, "Yeah, believe me, I know whatcha mean. And she sure does."

A long silence ensued as they each considered the conundrum.

"What am I..." Shego began, and then it struck her that _he_ was having the same thoughts, from the other side, as it were, "I mean, what are _we_ going to do about it?"

He didn't say anything. He didn't really want to think about this... not now... not ever.

"I guess it boils down to: how bad do you want her, Shego? I can tell you right now that she's not going to give up being a good-guy. _I_ might... probably won't, but I'll at least _think_ about it. She won't. Sorry to be so harsh about it." He got up from the table and put his dish in the sink, "Good night, Shego."

He was almost out the door before she replied, "Nite, Ron."

Ron got back under the covers with his... what? Boyfriend? Could hardly call him that. Lover? He wasn't sure he was ready for that yet, either. So... with his Drakken, then, who was laid over on his side, facing away and snoring lightly. Holding his head up with one arm, Ron lightly scratched Drakken's back - whatever it was made his skin blue also made it itch, apparently. The man grunted in sleepy approval. _Ah, Drak... what am I gonna do with you?_

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

"Y'know, Doc... I've been thinking about this summer-school thing..." Ron said sitting down for breakfast. He'd prepared his best stuff for the Doctor: Eggs Benedict, crispy bacon, carefully burnt toast. Shego, of course, was sleeping in.

Drakken winced perceptibly, "Uh, yes. I'd like to talk to you about that, actually..."

"I said I'd do it, Doc! Geez! I was just going to say that you might have to help me with the homework sometimes, is all..."

Drakken looked steadily at the freckled young man's brown eyes, "I'd prefer if you forgot that entire conversation. Pretend we never had it. You don't have to go to summer-school, you don't have to take pre-calculus... you do whatever you and your parents decide is best for you. That's all I really have to say about it." He looked self-consciously back down at his plate.

What a relief! Ron had been dreading summer-school - and Analytical Trig even more. Now he was free and clear! But... something wasn't right, here... for one thing, this was the first time the Doctor had ever used the word "parents".

"Uhm... well, thanks, Drak... but... how come? What changed your mind?"

Drakken sighed heavily – this was going to be the hard part. "What changed my mind is simple, Ron. I'm not your father" he looked back up at the teenager, "And furthermore, I don't want to _BE_ your father. At all. In any way. That's... that's not how I'd like it to be, between us."

That made sense. Ron didn't want that either... but it hadn't occurred to him that it even _was -_ 'in any way' - like that. Any way whatsoever!

"Yeah, okay..." But was it okay? The scientist had been so excited at the time about getting him to take pre-calculus... now he didn't care? It didn't matter? "So... you don't care what I do, I mean, what happens to me in my life? Whether I go to college, cooking-school, or what?"

"Of course I care! I care... I care a great deal... It's just... it's not my place -"

"Hey, Drak. You know what my father thinks I should be when I grow – I mean... for a living?"

"Of course not. But that's between -"

"An actuary. An actuary for an insurance company somewhere" Ron said flatly.

"Good Lord..." Drakken said, horrified.

"Yeah. Me too." Ron fought to put what he was feeling into words, "Look, Doc... I don't want you to be my father either. One's enough. But... well... there are still a lot of things I could use some _help_ on, y'know? And... I'd like at least some of that help to come from you." He paused here, trying to think if he'd said everything correctly. He decided eventually that it was the best he could do. "So... you up for that?"

Drakken didn't answer for an unusually long time. This... this relationship... grown, middle-aged man, and... well, young man... perhaps _very_ young man, had so many unforeseen aspects. Now he had to balance "fatherly advice" with it? But Ron had _asked _him to! He _wanted_ his advice, his direction! On some things. At some times...

"Yes, Ron. I'm 'up' for that, as you say."

"Good" Ron said cutting into his English muffin and faintly smiling, "I'm taking the summer-school. And I'm going to make you suffer for it, too."

The Doctor sighed, "As you wish, dear."

Ron looked up to see Drakken grinning at him.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Kim and Ron were walking to school, one of the few times it was safe to talk.

"So, did you... uh... y'know... with Drakken?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, KP, I did." He waited to see if she was going to say anything else. Rufus, riding on his shoulder, rolled his eyes skyward.

"Oh..." was all she managed.

"But I hear you and Shego only got to 'second base'..."

"What! Where... she _told_ you? Oh! That... that..." Kim snuggled her schoolbooks up tighter against her breasts, as if trying to protect them from prying eyes that might see where the woman had touched her.

"She was pretty ticked off, Kim. Frustrated, I mean" he explained, wondering if he was stepping on sacred ground, "I guess you don't wanna talk about it... an' that's okay. None of my bee's wax."

They walked a block in silence.

Then Kim found something she _could_ talk about, "She's... I mean, _they're_ our enemies, Ron! They're... well, maybe not _evil_, but Bad People, anyway. They're against everything we stand for! How am I supposed to enjoy... _ being_ with someone like that? And why doesn't it bother _you_, for that matter!"

"It _DOES_ bother me, Kim!" Ron stopped walking, "Maybe not as much as it does you... you're the super-hero, after all, and I'm just the wacky sidekick no one can quite remember. But yeah, it does bother me. It's just that..." This is the part he hadn't even been trying to figure out, for fear of the logical conclusion, "It's just that I like a lot of things about him, okay? Not _every_thing, but a lot. Enough. I'll... I'll deal with the rest of it when I have to. Maybe something will happen... I don't know. Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth. Get it while you can. Just do it. And lots of other stupid slogans... I don't have all the answers, KP..."

"Do you love him?" she asked with shocking earnestness.

He didn't quite know how to answer, "No. Not yet. I think... I think I could. Maybe. I might... He's really..." Suddenly, Ron took on an exasperated tone, "Look, enough about me. I'll deal with me. You just worry about you and Shego, okay?"

He began walking toward the school again, not waiting for her to follow – a stark contrast to the usual order of things between them.

"Wait... Ron" she said, catching up, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be... like that. It's just, uh, well, I was hoping you could give me some idea what to do, is all. I'm kinda lost here..."

Ron slowed his pace, "Yeah, I know how you feel..."

That surprised her, here she thought he and Drakken had it all worked out – they'd certainly progressed fast enough from simple conversation to... well, sex. "You do?"

"What, you think I know exactly what I'm doing here? How things are going to go before they do? KP... me and Drak have a lot of... things we talk about. There's stuff on both our sides we have to think out. Been that way since... well, our first date. Back then, _I_ sure didn't know it was going to go this far... I didn't know I'd _want_ it to! Don't you girls talk to each other?"

"Uh... I never know what to say..." Kim said, abashed.

"Geez. How about 'I really like you' or 'I like it when we fight' or stuff like that? How about telling her what you find attractive about her? You... you don't say _any_ of that stuff?"

She didn't answer.

"So, let me get this straight. She picked you up, you went to dinner, watched a movie, made out, and never said anything?"

"Of COURSE we said things, Ron! We talked about... y'know, the food, and the movie, her car, and -"

"And anything else except each other. Right?"

Again, she stayed quiet.

"Kim, you obviously _want_ her. I've never seen you so worried about what what to wear as you were on that date. I mean, asking _me_ for advice, for cryin' out loud" he chuckled a little remembering, "So... how come? I mean, if she's your enemy and all... what is it exactly you like so much about her?"

Kim took a long time answering. It was a good question. Why Shego? Why not... Monique, the "Leather Mistress" - that sounded like fun - or Tara, if she was... or even Bonnie? Bonnie was undeniably sexy, and that hateful veneer was SO obviously just for show. Why, of all the people – well, girls – well, women - in Middleton... why Shego?

She became nervous about taking too long to answer, Ron might get suspicious.

"It's just physical, Ron. She's a hot -"

"Bull."

"What?"

"Give me a break, KP! 'Just physical'. What a load... Wanna know what I think?"

"Not real-"

"I think she's everything you fantasize about being. Mysterious Bad Girl. Her Own Woman, not caring what anyone thinks of her. Independent. Resourceful. On Her Own, with no one she has to say 'please and thank you' to. You like her because you want to _BE_ like her!" He stopped and turned to face her, "Or, maybe I'm just full of of naco-filling... Am I?"

She couldn't look him in the eye, so he had his answer.

"Is that how you feel about Dr. Drakken?" she asked instead, trying desperately to direct the conversation away from herself.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is, kind of. I wish I was like him in a lot of ways. And you're changing the subject again."

They walked on to the school without "the subject" being further discussed.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

And picked it right back up again on the walk home. By now, the conversation of the morning had sunk in, and Kim was at least willing to admit that she admired the Thief she'd dated.

She began the conversation as soon as they were out of earshot of any other students.

"So..." Well, it wasn't _much_ of a beginning, actually.

Ron rolled his eyes, "So."

"So everyone at school knows about me, you know. Me and Shego. It's like, everyone just says 'duh'... it kind of weirds me out. Like, 'Yeah, Kim's gay and hot for that green villain – so NOT the drama!'. How come you never said anything?"

"C'mon, KP... what would I say? And if I had, what would _you_ have said?"

He had her there.

The walked on in silence for awhile as Kim wondered about her own feelings, really admitting them to herself for the first time. Her date with Shego had been SO tense... like she knew she _should_ be on the date, but didn't really want to do anything... date-like, beyond the thrill of kissing the other girl.

Yeah, the thrill. And there was more thrill where _that_ came from... _Gawd, I am SUCH a dork! SO "Mayberry"... Even Ron knows how to have a better time on a date than I do. I just... don't know... _

"Uhm... I feel kind of stupid asking this... but... exactly what do girls – Lesbians, I mean – _do_ on dates?"

Ron's eyes opened wide as he abruptly stopped on the sidewalk. Rufus barely clung on to his shoulder with one paw.

"You can't be serious..."

She looked off to the distance as something fascinating were at the end of the street, "Well, you know... I've never surfed for porn... read a dirty story... none of that stuff. How am I supposed to know?"

It hadn't occurred to Ron that Kim Possible – head cheerleader, Popular Girl, Hero, not to mention Outright Fox, wouldn't know what to do. He'd just assumed... that she wasn't like him in that regard. But apparently she was...

"You should be asking Shego these things. In fact, you shouldn't be talking to _me_ right now at all! Call her up. You got her private Lair number?"

"Uhm... yeah..."

"Call her up! Apologize for your date – for how it went, and tell her why. Look, I guarantee you there's things she's wondering about too... TALK to the woman! I'm betting she'll know what to do... let her do it!"

"I don't know what to -"

"You tell me you 'don't know what to say' again and I'm gonna sic Rufus on you!" Rufus, perched on Ron's shoulder, crossed his arms and gave her a stern look.

Kim smiled at the rodent, "You getting mean hanging around Drakken, aren't cha?"

"Hm. I guess he's rubbing off on me." Suddenly he started giggling.

"I don't _even_ want to know..."

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

_Click. "Hey, you've reached the Ronmeister! Leave a message after – click – Yellow, goat-head."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Ya, hello. Go ahead. Hey, KP. What's goin' on? You talk to -"_

"_We're spending the night studying American Civics. Got it? I'm sleeping over. Your parents are home, right?"_

"_Yeah, but... ooooooohhhhhh. Yeah, KP, I got yer back."_

"_Thanks, Ron. I owe ya."_

"_Break a leg, KP!"_

"_..."_

"_Well, uh... good luck, then. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"_

"_... uh-huh... Bye, Ron."_

_Click. "Boo-yah! Hot Lez action tonight, Rufus!"_

"_Lez Laction?"_

"_I'll tell ya later, Ruf. Right now, it's 'Deep Space Nine' time!"_

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP


	11. Chapter 11: Conclusion

"_Lez Laction?"_

"_I'll tell ya later, Ruf. Right now, it's 'Deep Space Nine' time!"_

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

_Again with the small-talk,_ Shego thought while driving Kim to the Radisson Hotel, _well, she SAID she wanted to do this, and by GAWD I'm not gonna pass up the chance. So just yammer away, Pumpkin... your ass is mine. So to speak. _She smiled broadly to herself while Kim went on about everything she _didn't_ know about Jazz.

And she kept it up, too, right up until Shego opened the lobby door for her. Perhaps that's when it hit home for the red-head: she was going to DO this. Kim's mouth clamped shut like a bear-trap.

No luggage, just two shoulder-bags. The Presidential Suite. No food. Champagne on ice. Gold card.

Shego pinned Kim to the wall, trapping her between her arms as soon as the door shut behind them. "You're suddenly awful quiet..." she said, looking straight into the younger woman's eyes purposefully.

For her part, Kim held the stare without glancing away, for a change. Her mind was torn – _Am I really going to DO this? God, I want this SO much! Am I really going to DO this?_

"Uh... heh... yeah. Look, Shego... I'm... I'm sorry I'm such a... so 'Mayberry'. I've never done this... anything like this... with anyone... So, uh..."

"You're _not_ about to say 'be gentle with me' are ya?" the villainess said, and started nuzzling beneath Kim's ear.

"Uh... it's really hard to think while you're doing that... but... yeah..."

Shego looked back into the so green - and a little frightened - eyes, "That's not really my way, Pumpkin. Not a gentle woman" she smiled with a trace of meanness.

"Make an exception? For me? Just this once?" Kim said, speaking her heart and finding it easier than she'd have ever thought it would be, somehow.

Shego sighed and put her arms down, "Yeah okay. For you, Princess, I'll be gentle. This time. _God_ you are so cute I could just eat you with a _spoon_!"

The suddenly worried and perplexed look on Kim's face made Shego laugh out loud, "Oh, Pumpkin! Don't worry... there's no actual table-ware involved..."

There was a brief respite while the champagne was delivered. After the waiter left, Shego poured two tall, slender glasses, and handed one to Kim, who was looking out the balcony window, trying to hide her blush.

"I'm underage, Shego. This is illegal... Besides, I don't want to get drunk for -"

"Oh, please, Kimmie... it's just champagne. You are not going to get drunk from one glass, I promise" she took a sip, "If I wanted to get you drunk, I'd have ordered Long Island Iced-Teas instead. You might wanna remember that for future reference" she said with a conspiratorial tone, smiling openly.

Kim sipped her first alcoholic beverage, ever. It tickled, and she giggled. And Shego... she felt something new inside. _My god... how can anyone BE so sweet! How come I never noticed... I need to sit down..._

"Want to sit on the balcony? As I understand it, the first step of 'being gentle' is talking – not that you've actually _stopped_ since I picked you up... well, until recently."

"Uh, someone might see -"

"Okay, but I need to sit _some_where, you're making me..." Shego looked away - she hadn't really meant to say that out loud.

_She passed up an opportunity to make fun of me? _Kim thought,_ I was SURE she'd make a smart remark about me being afraid someone would see... What's going on with her? _ "I'm making you what?"

She looked back up at Kim's face, "You're making me dizzy. Okay? Uh..." she took a chair without finishing whatever was going to come after the 'Uh'.

"It's just the champagne..." Kim offered.

"No, Kim. It's not the champagne. It's you. Sorry if that's TMI... I guess I'm kinda on new ground too, here..."

A meaningful moment of silence passed between them as they each sipped from their glasses; both of them wondering what was happening – and about to happen – to them.

After nearly three minutes – it sure seemed like longer – Shego spoke.

"So... why the change of heart? After our first date, I thought..."

For some reason she would never be able to explain, Kim suddenly realized she felt perfectly comfortable sitting there, in a hotel room, drinking champagne as a prelude to having sex, with her arch-enemy. Previous arch-enemy?

She chuckled softly, "I guess I couldn't stand the thought of Ron having a better time with Drakken than I was having with you. SO sick-and-wrong!"

Shego sensed the change in her date, and felt dizzy all over again. _Okay, I think I know what's happening here... to me... and goddammit, let it. I LIKE IT!_ With those thoughts, she relaxed, too.

"Yeah, I wondered about that. Dr. D wouldn't tell me anything. Did they...?"

"Oh yeah."

_'If I can do it, so can you'. _Shego remembered Drakken's words from when they'd first discussed their relationships with Team Possible,_ I never thought - and I mean NEVER thought - I'd say this, Dr. D... but I owe ya a one. A Big One._

"Oh, that is just SO..." Shego began.

"... cute" Kim finished.

Shego smiled wickedly, "Not as cute as you. Rawr!"

Kim's smile matched it, "Meow..."

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Insert "The 1812 Overture" here, complete with actual cannon-blasts. Stop complaining and just do it.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

_Beee-deep de-beep_

"_What's the sitch, Wade?"_

"_Oh... well... uhm..."_

"_Wade! WHAT is the SITCH!"_

"_It's... it's Drakken and Shego, Kim... they're trying to take Fort Knox – doing a bang-up job, too. Uhm... Krache and Burns will be by to get you and Ron in ten minutes. Uhm, that is, if you wanna go..."_

"_... yeah... yeah! Of course we want to go! Uh... right. We'll be waiting."_

_Click_

"_DAMN! FUCK! SHI... CRAP!"_

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

The helicopter ride was unusually, if not morbidly, silent. Being dropped into danger was a well-rehearsed drill for Team Possible, so there wasn't much they really needed to say to each other, anyway.

"Here we are, folks... Fort Knox. I count... four, five Arachnoids in all. Wow! Look at those rockets go! Those are some mean machines..."

Ron looked out the window: they _were_ mean machines... Drakken's signature color, rockets blazing from their "heads", well, most of their "heads". One seemed to be equipped with a probiscous of some sort, which it wiggled around and pointed at things that seemed to explode by themselves.

Rufus, perched on Ron's knee, looked up at the blonde sidekick knowingly, and Ron looked back.

"Yep, a laser. Capt. Krache? Get us in place to land on the back of the one with the long snout. That's where Drak... ken – Dr. Drakken – will be."

"Got it" the pilot said, looking back and adding, "I know I say this every time, but – you kids be careful out there!"

"Yes, Captain Krache" Kim and Ron said simultaneously. Then they looked at each other to see who would get the soda, but it didn't seem important, somehow. They checked each other's harnesses and waited by the door for the green light.

The backs of the Arachnoids didn't seem to be terribly well defended, but then, maybe they didn't need to be: the solid metal carapace was apparently impenetrable to all the artillery the Army was firing at them. They landed squarely in the middle of the "thorax" - the part where all the legs came together – of their target. And were met by... nothing and no one.

"Ron, you take the tail, I'll take the head, let's see if we can find a way in" Kim said, all business.

"Gotcha. Uhm... KP? What are you gonna do if... when.."

"I don't know. Don't ask. I was sort of hoping..."

"Yeah, me too. Okay. Let's do this." Neither of them were as excited as usual. Neither of them were, in fact, excited _at all_. They headed fore and aft.

Which was a mistake. As soon as Kim stepped off the thorax segment, one of the Arachnoid's legs tried to scrape her off, and she narrowly missed being flicked away like a bug. The leg came back, though, for another try, and Kim had to dance and flip her way around on the "head", desperately looking for a hatch and keeping away from the huge – but very quick – metal leg at the same time.

Ron was not so lucky. The abdomen of the machine was highly spherical, and completely smooth, and he soon found himself sliding down the side, his fingers unable to get a grip on anything. His grappling-gun projectile just bounced off, and soon Ron found himself falling through empty air four stories above ground. The Arachnoid was still walking, and he saw one of it's legs coming his way, so he grabbed for it, arresting his free-fall, and managed to slide down to the ground, a little winded and shaky - and effectively out of the fight.

The machines had passed the outer barricades and were converting on the main vault building, with it's massive steel doors large enough for four trucks to drive through. But the rockets didn't seem to be aimed at the doors; just as well – that would have proved futile. Only something like... like an intense laser beam could cut through that much solid steel...

_Right. Well, if that's where the action will be, then that's where I will be!_ Ron thought, and began running.

Still fighting for survival on the head of the Arachnoid, Kim wasn't having much luck locating an entrance. _Surely_ there was one! How did one get _into_ one of these damned things? While she was thinking that, the leg that she'd been using all her skills to avoid seemed to disappear, as if the giant spider had given up trying to get rid of her.

"Go home, Princess" she heard a familiar voice say, "_Please_. We'll talk about this later."

Finally able to stand up straight, Kim turned to find Shego behind her. The hatchway was apparently in the thorax section itself... but screwed down so tightly that it didn't even show until it was opened.

"You _know_ I can't do that, Shego! You _know_ you're going to have to stop me! And we've _both known_ this was going to happen, eventually! What did you think?" Kim challenged.

Shego's mouth lost it's trademark smirk, "I.. I hoped... well, that you wouldn't come. Or that you'd be too late. Or something. I don't _know_ what I hoped... I just hoped it wouldn't come to this" she said, lighting up the plasma on her hands. "Seriously, Pumpkin, Drakken's got a pretty good plan, and things actually seems to be working right. He may pull it off this time. _PLEASE_ go home! You can't win 'em all!"

Kim stared at her girlfriend - her lover - trying to see the Shego she'd come to know over the last month. It was amazing, really... she _looked_ the same... she even _sounded_ the same... but she was _acting_... well, she was acting the same too, really. Kim just didn't want to admit it.

Preparing herself for the coming fight, Kim said simply, "I have to try, Shego. That's just what I do. I'm... sorry it hasn't worked out for us."

_What does that mean?_ Shego wondered, _Is she trying to say it's over? That we... aren't going to... Dammit Pumpkin!_

"Doy! You are _SO_ fucking MAYBERRY! It's... it's _infuriating!_" She took her first swing/kick, just to get things started. Kim, of course, blocked and ducked, twisting for a kick of her own. _This_ was a relationship they were used to! _This_ way of dealing with each other was a Known Quantity! _This_ was how it was _supposed _to be!

Wasn't it?

They had no time to think about it. But at a deeper level, neither of them could help it. All those nights curled up together under the covers, the evening sex, the _morning_ sex, the _afternoon_ sex... the sex in general! Well, after all, sex is just sex. It's just rubbing and sucking and licking, getting each other off, getting off _on_ each other... It would be a loss, but they would survive without sex. Been there, done that before. No Big. Really, No Big...

But there was more, wasn't there...

They had worked-out together. They had shopped together. They had eaten together. They had watched TV together... as near as possible for a teenager still living at home, they had _lived_ together for that month... Why, they had even... shared hair-care products! How intimate was _that_?

And every time they saw each other, it just made them so... happy! Silly shit-eating-grin HAPPY!

Until this time. The fight went on...

Without warning, the Arachnoid jerked to a sudden halt, throwing Kim off her balance mid-spin, and allowing her opponent's left foot to come in full-force contact with her ribs. Shego _felt_ the crunch, and Kim crumbled, unable to move for the pain. Shego stood over the toppled super-hero, victorious, for the first time. She'd WON! Shego had finally WON a fight with Kim Possible! But from the look on the green thief's face, on one would have thought so.

"KIM!" she dropped to her knees, "KIM! Are you okay? I didn't mean... the Arachnoid stopped, and... Kim! Kimmie!"

What ever it had been she was fighting for, was forgotten. Kim was hurt. It was all Shego knew. It was all she _cared_ about.

"Good... kick... sweet-heart... should've... compensate..."

"Don't try to talk, Kimmie... we're gonna get you inside. Too dangerous out here..." She got her arms under the teenager in preparation for lifting her up, "This... this is probably going to hurt. A lot. Kim... I... I'm sorry..."

"No big. Ready... when you... are" Kim said, thinking she really was, and trying to catch her breath.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

_Here I am, Drak. Can't go around me... gotta go through me. I guess the question is: will you do it?_ Ron thought, standing front-and-center between the huge steel doors and the laser-wielding Arachnoid. An ear-piercing scream suddenly split the sudden quiet, apparently coming from somewhere on the giant machine's back. It was obviously Kim's scream.

_KP! Dammit, I can't see... and I can't go, anyway. Damn!_ It physically hurt him to not "have her back" for the first time, and when it sounded like she needed his help more than ever. _Maybe Shego... then maybe Shego is what made... no, surely... I WISH I COULD SEE!_

As if in response to his thoughts, the head of the Arachnoid lowered halfway to the ground, tilting toward him, the probiscous only ten feet away. It was aimed right at his chest. On the plus side, he could now see Shego carrying Kim down some sort of steps in the mid-section of the metal monster. _Well, I guess that's better than I was thinking it might be. Looks like Shego cares, anyway. Just you and me now, Drak._

The head of the Arachnoid opened like a clam-shell, to reveal the typically blue-clad Dr. Drakken standing behind the "driver's seat", scowling at him.

"Get _out of the WAY_, Ron! This is business! You shouldn't even BE here!" Drakken shouted.

"I know what kind of 'business' it is, Drak. And I actually _did_ think about not coming... but you know Kim... I _HAVE TO_ watch her back. It's what I do!"

Drakken looked behind him to see what Shego was up to, and saw her lying the out-of-commission heroine on the floor beside her fire-control console, and then grabbing the first-aid kit.

"Looks like Ms. Possible is down for the count! Your job is over! Now stand aside!" Drakken tried to reason with him.

"No can do, Doc! I'm here for the duration! Go ahead, punk... make my day!" Ron shouted, smiling to himself at the irony of the phrase in this situation. People usually don't say that with 40-megawatt laser cannons pointed at their heads.

It struck Dr. Drakken's funny bone too. For him to say something like that, in a situation like this... it was so... so RON!_ Gads! I love that boy... _Was the first thing he thought. The second wasn't so warm and fuzzy: _No. No! I WILL NOT stop when I'm this close! FINALLY this close! Gah! Please, Ron... No, he's doing what he does, what he's always done. I shouldn't expect anything else. _He raised the Arachnoid's head again, pointing his cannon at the top-right edge of the hole he intended to burn. _Well, maybe a little taste will scare him off... _He fired.

Instantly-vaporized metal filled the air, and a shower of molten steel rained down only feet away from where Ron stood. The smoke made him cough and wheeze, and the a few sparks burned through his clothes and hair.

But he didn't move.

The Arachnoid's head lowered again, "You will die from suffocation long before the beam even gets close to you, Ron! Now go! There's nothing you can do to stop me! I've finally won! Do you hear! I HAVE WON!"

Ron only wiped his eyes and looked back, "I know" he said, not shouting this time, "Congratulations. Now bring it on..."

Drakken was shaken. The boy meant to... he'd do that? But... but even if he did...

"It's pointless, Ron! I will win anyway! Why... why do this... for nothing? Or... Oh, I see now! That's been your plan all along, hasn't it... you think I won't do it! You think I won't do it because I... well, YOU ARE WRONG! By GOD, I WILL DO IT! The WORLD WILL know my genius, and bow before me! Even YOU and your devious schemes will not stand in my way now!" He sat back down behind the controls, preparing to continue cutting through the door.

"God, Doc... are you that far gone? You really think that I... what WE, Kim and I, would go through all this just to stop one of your schemes? You think I'm just... bending over forward for Justice? Come _ON_ Doc! Get a grip!"

_'Bending over forward for Justice'... good one, Ron_ Drakken couldn't help but chuckle to himself, at least temporarily breaking his insane mood. They had only brought their love-making to that point a week ago, and only then after long, long talks. Because it was one-way: Drakken himself couldn't take part as the "catcher", and didn't feel right about not being able to take only the one side, as it were. But Ron didn't seem to mind, and eventually, it seemed, quite enjoyed it. And for Ron to let the one-way-ness stand, never hinting that he thought it unfair... put him in a special place in the scientist's heart and mind... He owed Ron. He... loved Ron...

But he had something to prove, too! And not JUST to Mr. Mystical Monkey Power!

"The WORLD MUST KNOW MY GENIUS, I WILL -"

"_I_ know your genius, Drak... you want respect? You got it. Admiration? Gotcha covered. Maybe... maybe that's enough?"

You do? He did? Drakken fell back into his chair, unable to stand. He does? Well... yes, he did. Thinking back on the last month, Dr. Drakken could see that he did, even if he sometimes showed it in... subtle... ways. _I'm such an idiot for not noticing... gah! SUCH a blasted idiot... I don't deserve... _But Ron was just a... young man. Not even a part of his "peer group". THAT was who he wanted so badly to impress... "The other villains... the scientific community... THEY don't -"

"Hell, Doc, look at you! You did it! You take me out, and the entire backing of he U.S. Government is in your hands! Everyone can see that! The other villains must be cringing in their Lairs, watching the news! It's a sure thing, Doc! Only... only I'm asking you to let it go, is all. For me. Look, you've been obsessing on this 'take over the world' business for a long time. Maybe... maybe because you thought everything else was behind you? Well, maybe it's not..." Ron paused, preparing himself for what would probably be his Final Word on the matter – perhaps his Final Word, ever. "Doc, you do what you gotta do. Me or them. Your choice."

_Him or them? Is that what it's come down to? I've waited for this moment since... since before you were BORN, Ron! And to ask me to give it up, now... NOW? I was going to do it! I was going to be King of the World! Can you match that? Can you come close to -_

Ron was growing nervous waiting. There were places he _MUCH_ rather be...

"Coco-moo and 'Snowman Hank' on the tube, Doc! Whaddaya say?"

_And you in pajamas..._ As the image sunk into his brain, Drakken sighed.

_So, this is how it ends. All those years of preparation and scheming, the anger, the madness... all taken away by a warm body with freckles who likes 'Snowman Hank'. _He smiled faintly to himself at the irony.

"All five seasons? Twelve hours?" he shouted down.

"And don't forget the pilot episode, too!" Ron answered back.

Drakken glanced back at Shego to see how she might react to the change in situation - he might have to deal with her later. She looked up from the tape she was wrapping Kim with and nodded.

"I need to get her to a hospital, Dr. D. I think one of the ribs I broke punctured a lung. I'm taking the escape pod" she said.

"Right. And... right behind you" he turned back to look down at the young man who'd single-handedly changed his life – oh, and saved the world – just by being who he was. "Pick you up after school tomorrow?"

"Be waiting with bells on, Drak!"

_'Be waiting with bells on'... GADS I just LOVE him!_, Drakken thought.

KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKKPKP

Drakken was muttering to himself, "...forty-three million in damages! Not like the government doesn't get it's third of my money in taxes anyway... one-point-five million in over-time wages for the soldiers... bloody hell..."

"Oh, get over it, Dr. D" Shego said from the couch, "They're wiping the slate clean. No more disguises. You can put your phone number in the book. Besides, it's not like you can't afford it... how much did _one_ Arachnoid cost?"

"It's the _principle_ of the thing, Shego! And thank you for _reminding_ me how much I'm out for the Arachnoids! As a theme-park attraction, they _might_ have paid for themselves, in twenty or thirty years! But as guard-bots at Fort Knox, I get diddley! It's not FAIR, I say!"

Ron walked by and set a fresh cup of Coco-moo on Drakken's desk, "Calm down, Drak. At least it's unfair to everybody." He gave the Dr. a kiss on the ear and a pull on his pony-tail as he carried the other mugs to the girls on the couch.

Drakken sighed and went on with what he was doing, taking his frustration out on the adding-machine. "... five million for new vault doors... and I just KNOW they're upgrading, and calling it 'replacement'!..."

"Can you sit up, Kim?" Ron asked, holding the steaming mug towards her as she reclined on the couch."

"Barely... oof..." she complained.

"Kimmie... I'm know I've said this before, but -"

"Give it a REST Shego!" Kim giggled painfully, "Besides, I've had worse. It was my fault anyway, I should've been in a position -"

"KIIIIMMMM..." Drakken, Ron, and Shego all said simultaneously. They'd heard the "would've, should've" story SO many times now.

"Well, I should've..." Kim said petulantly.

Even Rufus was tired of hearing about it, "shudof!" he mocked from the top of the TV, "wudof, cudof!"

"I think you need to find your rat a girlfriend, Ron" Shego chided, "Give him something to do besides make fun of us. I notice he never makes fun of _you_..."

"That's because he's _my_ buddy. But... you may be right. I bet he'd like a... hmmm. Whaddaya say, Rufus? Girlfriend, or _boy_friend?"

Rufus jumped from the back of the television and disappeared. No one saw him again for two days.

End


End file.
